I Want to Marry Edward Cullen!
by remy7marie
Summary: AU/AH Bella is tricked onto a new reality TV show featuring movie star Edward Cullen. How much more embarrassing or awkward could this possibly be? Rating just increased to M in Chapter 8
1. When I Introduce Myself

**A/N: new story...AU/AH. not much to say...pretty self-explanatory. enjoy and review!**

**EPOV**

My agent Jasper Hale walked into my house (correction: mansion), his arms full with a mail crate, piled high with videos. I only saw through my half-open eyelids. Sure, it was noon, but entertaining supermodels all night left very little time for sleep.

"I don't even want to know what that is," I mumbled, turning away from him, attempting to fall back asleep. My fans meant a lot to me, but it really was too early to even consider answering their mail.

"Oh, but you do," Jasper said, a smirk on his face. "I should tell you that the attitude you have is what is keeping the directors of _Bone Dry_ from making a decision. That and your reputation."

I was wide awake now at the mention of the newest job to fall into my lap. The movie was expected to be a summer blockbuster, and the job was now between me and some other schmuck named Mike Newton. A total pansy and completely wrong for the role.

I looked at my blonde friend, his blue eyes narrowing at my scantily clad body and the lipstick stain on the pillow directly next to my head. "There is nothing wrong with my reputation!" I argued.

"Oh, sure, I believe you. Three girls every night, sometimes at the same time. Look at this." He tossed me a magazine I hadn't seen tucked underneath his arm and flipped it open to see the front cover. A picture of me in my 2009 Audi A4 Cabriolet with a girl in the front seat. My seat, my lap, more appropriately.

"What do you call that?" he asked, another smirk plastered on his face.

"Really good photography."

"You're smoking, speeding, fondling, and bringing on heart attacks to everyone watching all at the same time. Impressive, I must say, but probably not what directors want to see the star of their thirty million dollar movie doing."

I rubbed my eyes. "What exactly are you telling me?"

"I'm telling you that I have the perfect solution to bring you back into the spotlight. In a good way," he added, when he saw my eyebrows raise.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, "How is that?"

In response, he dumped the mail crate onto my bed, videos spilling everywhere. Upon closer look, I noticed that the labels were all hand-written. "I Want to Marry Edward Cullen" is what nearly every one of them displayed.

Needless to say the panic showed up shortly after.

"Jasper, what the hell is this?"

"You mean besides genius? This is your ticket back into America's heart. Do you want to hear it all or not?"

"Talk fast," I said through gritted teeth.

He sat down on the bed next to me. "Well, I thought maybe you could use some good publicity to make people stop turning you into the bad guy. You know, get you the boy next door feeling back. So, I talked to some people, and they put in an idea at ABC, you know, the TV station?" I nodded in understanding, motioning my hands for him to keep going, again, quickly, before I used my hands to kill my best friend.

He continued rapidly. "The show idea is called "I Want to Marry Edward Cullen". Girls around the country have sent in videos or letters to you and you are going to pick twenty girls to come to stay with you at a house outside L.A. The idea is that you find yourself someone to settle down with so you'll stop traipsing with ten girls a week."

I laughed. "They think this will actually work?"

"Well, if you don't choose all girls from brothels, but if you choose some actual, real girls."

"Real like limited plastic surgery?" I joked.

"Funny, Cullen. So, what do you think?"

I had to admit, it didn't sound totally awful. Twenty girls and just one me. How bad could it be? Oh wait. "I wouldn't actually have to marry her, would I?"

Jasper laughed, "No. The finale will air and then you date for a little while and then break up. I'll announce that the relationship didn't last due to schedule differences and lack of "together" time. The worst thing that can happen is that you find a girl who you can go on a few dates with, God forbid you have a real relationship."

He picked up a video tape and waved it in front of me. "Should we see who the lucky contestants are?" He slipped the tape into the VCR at the entertainment system and flipped on the TV. Immediately a voluptuous blonde filled the screen, her low cut dress obviously chosen to display, ahem, certain attributes. I nearly laughed, but she looked completely serious.

"Edward," she purred. "I know we have a lot in common. I can be that one for you that allows to be busy during the day, and I'll keep you busy at night. I'm Katarina, and I'm more than up to the challenge," she pushed her chest up, "of being Mrs. Cullen."

I coughed and bit back a smile, "Maybe this is a bit much. These girls seem very, _very_ into this whole thing."

"Well, maybe we pick this girl, and then eliminate her early. Just let her show you a good time. I'm sure she could handle that, though maybe not a conversation."

I laughed and picked up the next tape and put it in.

"Hi Edward," a squeaky voice said over the camera, "I'm Camilla…"

"Edward," a man called, "I am so ready to be Mrs. Cullen…"

I sighed with my head in my hands after the first twenty videos while Jasper nearly fell off the bed laughing before sliding in yet another tape.

"Is the camera on?" an annoyed voice said and a gorgeous blonde popped in the screen before moving back out. "Emmett, seriously, it's just a video! He may not even pick her! Though he'd be insane not to and then I would hate him."

"But Rosie," a tired voice called back, "she'll kill us when she finds out."

Then they both moved to the screen. The camera was obviously on a tripod. "Hi, Edward," the woman said. "You're movie _To the Front Line _was amazing, let me tell you. Ouch, Emmett, okay. I'm Rosalie, and this is my fiancé Emmett; we're from Seattle. Now, don't let those thoughts of three-way go any further. He'll beat you up." She pointed to the man next to her, who was massive, his brunette hair cut short and blue eyes narrowing at his girlfriend's mention of a three-way.

"Just kidding!" she exclaimed with a huge smile. "No, I'm not sending in this video for me, but for Emmett's little sister, Bella. She would never, ever think of doing anything like this, nor would she want to. But we think she would be perfect for you. See?"

The shot moved to a bar, where a brunette was standing behind, filling up a cup of beer from the tap. I sat back and admired her in appreciation, as any other normal man would do. This was one of the more…interesting videos they had seen. "She works at a bar owned by her dad at night. The regulars just love her. And her laugh and smile, and of course, some of the older men like to look at her bend over. Emmett, I'm just kidding! And then, during the day," the camera moved to a crowded street and then zoomed in on a book store called The Bookshelf, "she manages a bookstore while the owner is in early retirement.

"In the morning she goes running, zoom in closer, Emmett," the video showed the woman running along a sidewalk, a leash with a huge dog pulling her along. "Amazing body, right? We're trying to get her to dress more girly. She tends to go with the more comfortable than how it looks. Ouch, Emmett, okay, fine. Look, what I'm trying to say is that I think she is a really good catch, but she's too picky and doesn't even know the extent of her beauty. And we think someone like you, who is around beauty all the time and knows how limited and rare true beauty is can help her. And you know, maybe be a good guy for her, too. And I promise Emmett won't beat you up for dating his sister." She smiled a heartbreaker's smile. She nudged her fiancé. "Right?"

"Oh, right."

"Just consider it, please, Edward. Thanks." She smiled as Emmett moved to turn off the camera.

Jasper looked at me, but I was still transfixed on the TV. Maybe the show would be the best thing to happen to me. I had my pick of twenty girls and if the videos I had seen were all this good, I would be in heaven. Not to mention the girl I just saw.

"I don't know about that one," Jasper said, "she didn't even send in the video."

"No," I said quickly, "she's perfect. It'll show I have a good heart picking the least likely ones to be chosen, right?" And I really, really, want to see what was under that jacket and sweat pant ensemble she was wearing running.

"Well, yeah, I guess. Okay then, she's in. We have eight girls. Only twelve more to go."

Great, I thought. I would need food and a beer if I had to sit through more men asking to be my bride.


	2. If You Could Ever Despise Me

**A/N: Wow! Thank you so much for the response!! That was amazing...25 reviews. Thanks. Anyways, this chapter is Bella's POV and I promise we'll get to the show shortly. Not the next chapter, but hopefully the one after. :) Tell me what you thinK!! Enjoy and review. **

**Disclaimer: (I forgot this in chapter one, but I don't own anything. SM owns it all...)**

**BPOV**

I was pouting. Yes, a very childish thing to do, but I had more than earned it by now. The flight to Los Angeles was a drag, and Rosalie wouldn't shut her yap about the oh, so amazing Edward Cullen and all his greatness and movies and crap. And to top it all off, she made me believe we were flying down her to see Emmett's pro football game in California.

So I went along, and then she just sprang it on me! Oh, by the way, we have to stop at a playboy's mansion to drop you off. Thank you very much for the heads-up, Rose!

Rose turned to me in the five-star hotel room, holding a note that came with a dozen roses. "Bella," she read, "I can't wait to meet you and get to know you. I hope the room is to your liking. Edward." She sighed dramatically as I rolled my eyes, shoving a sweatshirt in the dresser drawer.

"You know," she snapped, "you could try to enjoy yourself. This is the most action you've gotten in a long time." She emphasized the long. As per usual. Everyone seemed to be interested in my sex life these days, or lack there of.

"And you know. I have dates back home. They just all really, really sucked. So why bother?" I pulled at invisible threads on my ivory colored sweater, avoiding looking at Rosalie. I could picture her posture. Hand on her hip, eyes narrowed, note clutched in her hand as if God himself had dictated that one sentence.

"You need to lighten up, honey!" She said, suddenly beside me, smoothing my hair down in a motherly fashion, making me feel four rather than tweny-four. "This could be fun."

"Yeah, it'd be fun if I were a prostitute. At least then I'd get paid to do this," I bit back.

She sighed, her hand falling to her side. "Emmett sends his love. He had a team meeting today. He wants you to try to enjoy this, too. And if you really don't like it, we'll be waiting at home."

I looked at the clock. 12:28 p.m. "Rose, we have to meet them at the agency in an hour."

Apparently, Prince Charming had problems deciding who his twenty damsels in distress would be. Hence, individual meetings. I snorted at the thought. What a manwhore. Is that even a word? They need to come up with a word for man slut, and soon. My tangent was soon interrupted.

"You can't wear that, Bell!"

I bit back a groan and looked down at my jeans and sweater. "Why not? It says 'Hey, this is cool, but I really do not need to be here.' It shows them I haven't lowered myself to flashing my boobs to get a husband. I think it has definite potential."

She glared. "Your sarcasm and way of thinking never cease to amaze me. Fine, you can wear it. At least pull your hair down though." Without waiting for my reply, she pulled the elastic band out of my hair and let my dark wavy hair fall down to the middle of my back.

"My looks won't attract him, Rose. Don't worry about it."

"Isabella Swan," she said, her fingers quickly relinquishing their hold on the hair tie and instead moved to grip my chin so I would look at her.

"You are beautiful, and don't you for one minute think otherwise. I don't know why you're so adamant that you're some hideous beast or plain jane because you are neither. You're the only one who doesn't see it. So if I hear one more comment about how you're not pretty or your hair is the wrong shade of brown I swear I will kill you myself." She let go of my face and smoothed the back of my hair until she was satisfied while I stood in shock. It wasn't the first time I had heard her speech, but this one was different. Like she really meant every word, including the killing part.

It was easy for Rosalie to say. She was always the most beautiful one, anywhere they went. Her gorgeous blonde hair and perfect face, and then her perfect body and shape had everyone building shrines in her direction. If I didn't love her so much, I would hate her for her looks alone.

This conversation needed to end. Now.

"Great, I'm ready." I said quickly. "Can we go? I want to get something to eat first."

At the station, Rosalie and I were ushered onto a floor for media agents that were in charge of certain celebrity clients, say Edward Cullen. And speak of the devil, there he was!

Wait, what? There he was? I can't believe I just said that so casually. I had to do a double-take because yes, there he was, staring right at me from across all the cubicles of mediocre college interns. He was standing with a young blonde man, whom I could only assume was his agent or manager or whatever those swanky people in charge of his whole life were called.

I looked away quickly; our eyes had only locked for a brief second, but I already felt the hot blush creeping up my neck and to my face.

Rosalie tugged on my sleeve and turned me around, sending me whirling on a rug placed on the marble floor. My shoes were twisted in the rug, perfect, and as I tried to walk, I took not only myself, but the completely unnecessary coat tree by the door down.

Smooth, Bella, real smooth, I thought, grumbling to myself until…

I felt arms slide around my waist to hoist me back up and set me safely on my own two feet. Thanks to gravity and all its awesomeness, the coat tree landed directly on me, one of its arms hitting me in the back of the head.

I rubbed the tender spot at the base of my neck and turned slowly in whoever's arms I was currently in. I eyed Rosalie out of the corner of my eye and saw her standing there, mouth agape, speechless. If you knew Rose, you would know that this is a rare thing.

I looked straight into the eyes of my rescuer and nearly fell over again. But not because it was _the_ Edward Cullen, or his looks, or his really good formation in his upper biceps that I currently had in death grip to keep me from falling over, but because of the emerald green eyes that bore directly into mine.

"I, uh…yeah, fell," I mumbled incoherently.

"You might want to refrain from doing that," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice, "or I'll think you're falling for me."

My head cleared immediately at the lame attempt at flirting. I snorted, something that Rosalie told me many times before was very un-ladylike and unattractive, but frankly, those were two things I would love to be if it would get this player-letch thing off of me. Clearly, I was too angered to form even proper insults. I unlatched my hands from his arms and that's just when the anger came out in a way Rosalie would probably kill me for later.

"I'm assuming that line draws just all the girls to your bed, doesn't it?" I asked, my voice full of biting sarcasm. I knew I was being a bitch, but seriously? I was falling for him? Anyone who knows me is aware that if there is something to be tripped over in a five mile radius, I would find it. If there wasn't anything to be tripped over in a five mile radius, I would still manage it.

His smile faltered briefly before he responded by sticking his hand out for me to shake, "Edward Cullen. And you are?"

I hesitated (obviously) before shoving my hand into his. At the risk of sounding like a Nora Roberts book, I'll say it: there were sparks. Of hatred, rage, anger, I'm sure. Cheery words from a cheery girl. I needed more sleep, I decided, and I imagined the sparks, I told myself.

"Bella Sawn," I said quickly. "Now if you'll excuse-"

He cut me off. Us, I thought in my head, finishing my sentence. "Bella, now I've only met one girl named Bella and she might be on my new TV show." His smirk was running full steam and I felt my blood boil at the sight. Rosalie just stood next to me, too in shock at being this close to her idol. I was on my own.

"Yeah, unfortunately, that would be me. If you'll excuse us, I'll be late for my goddamn interview." I grabbed Rosalie's arm and pulled her behind me.

"That was Edward," she said dreamily as I all but dragged her down the hallway. Then she decided to remember the exchange we just had. "Bella! You were a complete bitch to him! And you cussed about the show! They will not take you after this!"

I stopped and stared pointedly. "Is that a promise? Or should I yell a few more profanities just to seal the deal?" My mouth was open to scream the f-word before she clapped a hand over my mouth.

"Don't you dare," she hissed, her eyes narrowed into slit as she glared at me. We continued walking, my feet dragging as she tugged me along. The line of girls stretched down the hallway as we waited for my interview to begin, and all I could do was think about what had just happened.

I had hoped that all the tabloids and magazines had been wrong, and that my favorite movie star really wasn't a lecherous…letch, but it would seem that this was not the case. The mere idea that he used cheesy pick up lines like "you're falling for me" was laughable and quickly ruined any preconceived notion of redeeming qualities in Edward Cullen.

I better not make it onto this show.


	3. Some Name I'll Soon Not Forget

A/N: you guys are amazing, really and YAY to **R.L.N.Tonks **who caught what movie this is based on! i was wondering how long it would take. :) its VERY loosely based off the abcfamily movie i want to marry ryan banks. i cant believe someone else besides me has seen it. lol. like i said, very loosely. if you've seen it, you'll know why shortly. anddd...this chapter is longer. i dont know how often i'll be able to update after this. check my blog for more details, but i hope i can get some sort of routine down. thank you so much to everyone who reviews. its amazing. enjoy and review. (i really enjoyed writing this chapter. :p)

**JPOV**

I tapped my pen incessantly on my clipboard sitting on the table in front of me. The conference room was empty and I was sitting at the long round table by myself, waiting for the next contestant to come in for her interview. I pushed the earpiece back into its place so that I could listen to what Edward wanted me to ask the next girl.

I looked at the brief profile sheet in front of me.

Name: Alice Brandon

Hometown: Seattle, WA

Age: 24

Career: Fashion Designer / Manager of boutique Simply

When I said brief, I wasn't kidding. Normally, I'm not this high-strung. I'm usually quite quiet and calm, my demeanor contradicting the job I have in the fast-paced L.A. spotlights. But this show would be the death of me. I know I created it, but Edward was just being a little difficult about everything.

He couldn't decide between Lauren and Katarina. Then between Alice and Bella. Then between some other girls named Tallulah and Grace. So in the end, we had a total of twelve extra girls. Hence the interviews. Pretty boy couldn't make up his mind.

I took a deep breath, hoping to expel this sudden and uncharacteristic anger. Soon, the girls will be chosen and it will go off without a hitch. Optimism is key. And breathing, too, I realized helped after I noticed I was actually holding my breath.

The door creaked open and someone came in. No, bounded in would be the correct term. I calmed down from my semi-internal rant and looked at the girl. She was petite – only a few inches over five feet, and she couldn't have weighed more than one hundred pounds. Her hair caught my interest. Black spikes going in every direction. Her eyes were bright blue and I nearly fell out of my chair when I looked at her face.

Holy hell, she was beautiful. No wonder Edward couldn't decide.

"You've kept me waiting a long time," she drawled, as she danced over to the table.

"Sorry, ma'am," I said, feeling the blush creep up to the tips of my ears as I ducked to avoid her gaze and instead became fascinated by her profile sheet.

She waved her hand, "No matter, let's start. I'm Alice." Her dainty hand was in front of her, waiting for me to shake, and what did I do?

I choked. I coughed, spluttered, and was forced to take a drink of water from the glass in front of me. Naturally she withdrew her hand.

"Oh, God, are you okay?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowing in concern. I waved her away silently while trying to swallow water.

She waited for me to start breathing normally again before she sat back in the chair. I heard Edward laughing and knew he saw the whole thing on the TV from the room where he was watching us.

"So," I cleared my throat, "you're from Seattle?"

"Yup," she said, all but bouncing in her seat. "I love it there."

"What sort of things do you do there?" These were all generic questions that Edward wanted asked. If there was something else he wanted to know, he would speak into the speakerphone which would relay it to my earpiece. That the girls didn't know existed.

"Oh, the usual; shopping, working, clubbing, hanging around."

I was wondering how she was so calm. Was she feeling the same thing I was? Perfection. Here was the perfect girl right in front of me. And I had to hand her over to Edward. Remember, calm. Breathing. I moved on to the next question before my wandered to doing other things with this girl that would use less breathing and more…physical exertion.

"So what brought you to the show?"

"Oh," she smiled a bright smile that caught my breath in my throat. "I guess the same thing that brought everyone. _The_ Edward Cullen. But it turns out I may stay for a whole other reason." She gave me a sly smile, and something told me that when this girl wanted something, she got it.

I couldn't help but wonder if that last comment was directed towards me. I've never been the forward type, but I may have to kick my game up to the next level if I want to get this girl to be with me.

"Dude, Jasper," I heard Edward calling in my ear. "Stop drooling. If I pick her, will you promise to make a move on this girl and not be all gentleman-ly? Seriously. It's embarrassing."

I stood up, "That's about all the questions we have. We'll let you know."

"What's the last one?" she asked, standing up with me, moving dangerously close to me. Neither of us made a move to step back. My head unconsciously bent towards her small frame, and if I moved one more centimeter, my lips would graze her forehead. Our gazes locked.

"Last one what?" I responded, struggling to form a coherent thought.

"You said that's about all the questions, implying there's one or two more," her voice dropping an octave or two lower. Coherent thought was no longer something I wanted to do. However, tossing her on the table and having my way with her was. Calm, Jazz, breathe. Control your emotions.

I really hoped Edward stopped listening by now, but it was hard to tell. Mainly because I wasn't paying attention to anything outside the two of us. What was with this girl that she had this power over me and I had barely known her for five minutes? Her first words held me and now, it was too late to turn back.

Sick, I sound like all those romantic comedy scripts that Edward keeps getting sent. Calm. Breathe.

"Your number, maybe?" I asked hesitantly. "You know, in case we need to call you. Though, strictly speaking, its against game show rules. But I'll make an exception."

She smirked slightly as she reached carefully into her pocket (not easy to with us standing so close to each other) and pulled out a slip of paper. I unfolded it and read her name and phone number before looking at her quizzically.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I had a feeling." I simply smiled lightly. She turned around quickly and walked out just as she had come in…she bounded out.

I sat down to pull myself together, and as soon as I did that, a woman was being brought in by the secretary, Anita. "She insisted she be next. Apparently she has a hair appointment."

"But I do!" the girl whined. "You can see my roots!" she shrieked as she pointed to her brown roots in her hair, masked by the blonde highlights. "I'm Lauren Mallory," she said, her voice high and nasally.

"Charmed," Jasper said, as he gestured to her seat for her to sit down so they could begin the interview.

"But of course I would do anything for Eddie. He and I are, after all, soul mates."

I heard a gagging noise in my ear similar to what I sounded like when Alice introduced herself. "Did she just refer to me as Eddie and her soul mate in one sentence?"

I coughed back a laugh. "Meaning what, exactly?" I asked, just to amuse Edward.

"Well, if he needed me for _anything_, of course I would cancel my appointment." It was hard to miss the innuendo underlying "anything" and I'm sure she would give that Katarina character a run for her money.

"Uh, that's very…considerate of you," I said carefully. "I'm sure he appreciates that. So how did you know that you two were - how did you put it - soul mates?"

"Well, I was like totally depressed one day because my boyfriend of three months dumped me for a total bitch that dressed like skanky whore and probably gave it up to him the first time they met!"

"How nice," I said noncommittally.

"Uh, I wasn't done. So anyways my friend took me to a movie and it was _Secret of the Grave_ and it just made me see, that like, Tyler totally wasn't worth it. And that there are better guys out there who would be better suited to give me the lifestyle I deserve. You know?"

"Yeah, guys like that are hard to find." I grumbled sarcastically.

"Oh, so you're gay then?"

Edward laughed out loud and I must have looked confused because she barreled on. "I know how hard it must be for _you_ to find a decent man."

"Yeah, yeah, terrible. You know, Ms. Mallory, we'll get in contact with you next week regarding our decision."

Lauren left the room slowly, making sure to swing her assets just in case Edward was in hiding the cabinets or something. God only knows. "One more before lunch, Jasper," Anita said, leading in a brunette girl.

"Thanks, Anita." I once again gestured to the chair to have the girl sit. She looked around the room nervously before setting herself down gingerly in the chair, sitting on the edge, hands clasped in her lap.

"I'm Bella Swan," she said, when I came up empty handed with her profile sheet. I looked in the stack below the first pile and found hers, pulling it out.

"So you work at a bookstore and a bar?"

"Um," she looked around the room again, "Yeah. Well, I manage the bookstore. And my dad owns the bar. Its temporary until he finds another bartender. The last one sort of had this people disorder. They're looking into it."

I laughed. She seemed to be on edge, and though she may not have to be funny, she still managed it. "Ask her why she came to the show." Edward's voice filled my ear. Literally.

"So, uh, what brought you to this show?" I asked.

"My soon-to-be sister-in-law," she responded flatly.

"I'm sorry?" I asked confused.

"She sent in the video for me. You know, she probably cast me as a social pariah incapable of finding a date or husband or anything, but that's not true. I guess she's just trying to do what's best for me. So it wasn't me that wanted to come here; I got tricked into it."

"Ah, yes, I do remember that tape now. So you're from Seattle?"

"Yeah. I grew up in Phoenix but moved up there to be with my dad. And I just never got around to leaving." She sounded almost sad but Edward was already plowing away in my ear with the next question.

"Ask her what her favorite sexual position is."

"What?!" I yelled. I didn't know that this interview was to help him improve his foreplay.

Bella jumped about a foot in her chair when I yelled. "I'm sorry?" she asked. "I don't remember what I just said…"

"No, I'm sorry, I just remembered something." She was looking at me strangely and uncomfortably closely, her gaze wandering my face, looking for something, it seemed. Very disconcerting, to say the least. "On with the questions," I continued. "So, um," what was the right way to even phrase this? "Whatisyourpreferredsexualposition?"

"I'm sorry? I didn't catch that, can you repeat it?"

I closed my eyes, praying that this humiliation would be worth it. That this TV show would give us the best goddamn ratings the station had ever seen and Edward would be back in America's hearts for the embarrassment I was going through with a girl I didn't even know.

I repeated it slowly, watching as her eyes grew wide, her face flush and eyes move to the floor, making her seem more elusive and mysterious than when she came in the room hardly saying a word.

She looked up and peered at me closely again, her eyebrow rising at the little black nub in my ear – the earpiece.

"Look, I think you're a nice guy, though a little strange, and I'm really sorry to waste your time, but I just don't think this is the way I'll find someone to date. Questions like that just aren't things that are prevalent to me when I first meet someone. So you can tell Edward that with the questions he's feeding you, he'll always only have whores and gold diggers between his sheets. I'm really sorry." She stood up, gathering her bag from the floor.

"No! Stop her!" I heard Edward yelling at me. I turned to the wall with the camera.

"Seriously? You couldn't have asked that question to the nymphomaniac girl we first interviewed this morning? What even made you think of that, let alone yell it in my ear?!"

Calm, Jazz, breathe. Yes, this show better have the best goddamn ratings the TV station has ever seen.


	4. It's Just Business, As Usual

**A/N: THANK YOU! for all the reviews. really. im sorry for the delay...go to my lj for more details. if you're not interested just keep reading the story!! :) and sorry, its not edited... enjoy and review. **

**EPOV**

I heard her well before I saw her. Well, I assumed it was her stomping down the hall, throwing open doors in order to find where I was to rip me a new one, I guessed. The door to my room slammed open and I jumped off the desk I was sitting on, bracing myself for defense position.

She was beautiful even with her eyes flaring and her face flushed in anger.

"What is my favorite sexual position?!" she shrieked. Of course, she didn't yell at Jasper – he's just the messenger. No, she had to go straight to the source. Figures.

Um, think fast, Edward. "It's just a way to weed out ones I know wouldn't be right for me."

She stared at me incredulously. I wanted to look away, but that would either a) make her even more mad or b) show how scared she was making me. "Really? You do that based on how flexible they are in bed?"

"No, its not that," I assured her quickly. "It tells a lot about a person, so I know if I don't like the preferred position that tells actually a lot about her character, I know not to waste my time."

"You are a disgusting pig," she said sharply, each biting word full of condescension and loathing.

"Yeah, you can really sit here and judge me when you're about to be put on my TV show. To marry me!"

"You actually think I'll be doing this? I'll be disrespecting myself and all the women around the country if I went through with this."

"It's great media. People eat it up," I explained as if I were talking to a child.

"You should be institutionalized." I smiled crookedly at her comment and looked past her shoulder as Jasper and some blonde woman came into the doorway.

"Bella, I heard your charming words all the way down the hallway," the woman said sarcastically.

We all heard a loud, nasally squeaking coming towards the door and I fought the urge to duck under my desk. My biggest fan, Lauren Mallory.

"Eddie!" she called, shoving Jasper and Blondie out of the way, fighting through the doorway. "I just moved my hair appointment back an hour so now I have time to spend with you! Isn't that great?"

"I feel my brain cells dying," Bella mumbled and I fought back a laugh. At least we could agree on one thing.

"Actually, we have to finish up some show stuff, right, Edward?" Jasper asked, moving further into the room.

"Right, show stuff," I nodded as Jasper moved forward to usher Lauren out of the room while Bella and the blonde girl made no effort to move.

"Why don't they have to leave?" she whined, her face flush with annoyance.

"They need to discuss the details of a contract. You'll meet them soon enough," Jasper soothed, leading her out the door.

We all stood in the room in an uncomfortable silence. Bella leaned against a wall with her arms crossed. Blondie stood in the doorway, examining her cuticles, and I rested on the edge of the larger desk. I moved to the blonde woman and stretched out my hand. "I'm Edward Cullen," I said, giving her my dazzling smile. That was what TeenBeat called it last month, anyways.

She smiled. "I'm Bella's sister-in-law, Rosalie Hale."

"Not yet. I just might kill you for making me do this," Bella grumbled from her spot in the room. I smiled.

"Why do you hate me?"

"Because!" she snarled. I have to admit, I was a little frightened of her. "You are a womanizing man-whore person who holds no regard for women except as your little sex bunnies to use whenever you feel like it and I refuse to be one of them!"

"Womanizing man whore-person, what an insult."

"Ugh! You're infuriating! You don't even care that you cast these girls aside like used Kleenexes. You know that deep down below all that plastic surgery they have some kind of feelings, right? And you just don't care."

"So does this mean you aren't doing the show?" I felt an annoying surge of disappointment. What the hell. I brushed it away without a thought.

"Of course it means I'm not doing the show!" she practically yelled.

I didn't want to be the one to tell her the next little tidbit of information. "Well, since you agreed to the interview, you have no choice but to accept if we select you. It was all written in the contract you signed when you first walked in. Otherwise we can stick a lawsuit on you."

I think she growled. I couldn't be sure what exactly the noise was. All I know is that now Rosalie is standing between Bella and me, her arms braced on Bella's shoulders, pushing her back.

"You knew!" she cried. "You read that damn contract."

"No," Rosalie responded in a placating tone, "but I guessed it. Honey, they got you. You agreed to try it and now it just turns out that you have to go through with it. It could be worse."

"You're right! I could like him. Then it would be worse." I decided to interject.

"Yeah, I'm still in the room, so if you could save this Edward-bashing time until maybe I'm out of the room, that'd be great."

"I can knock you unconscious if that would help," Bella replied smartly.

"No thanks."

Thank God, Jasper walked back in, dragging a hand through his hair. "God, I hate that woman," he said.

"Lauren? I think she's cute." I replied, just to spite Bella. Sure enough, I looked her way and she graced me with a glare.

"Great, next time you can shove her out the door." Jasper knew I was kidding – Lauren Mallory was the bane of both of our existences. Except now maybe Bella was mine…it was too soon too tell.

Jasper was now talking to Bella and Rosalie in low voices, probably discussing her contract for the show. Or my death, by the way Bella was glaring. I chuckled to myself and leaned back down on the desk, watching the interaction. Rosalie was now talking animatedly with her hands, probably trying to strike a deal.

"But why," I heard Bella whine and laughed again. She was pouting, her bottom lip curled out as her eyes darted worriedly from Jasper to Rosalie.

It was adorable, not to mention sexy as hell. I guess the thoughts that were running through my mind were a bit more than PG, but I let them wander. I think we'd have a lot of fun if she weren't such a stuck-up bitch. Okay, that was harsh, Edward. We'd have fun if she let loose a little.

"Stop staring at me or I'll tear out your jugular," she snapped, and I looked up and saw all three looking at me, Jasper very strangely. Bella looked like she wanted to have my head served on a platter, and Rosalie just looked mildly amused, like she expected this all along. "I'm not a piece of meat, I'm a human being," she finished, the words barely pronounced through the gritted teeth.

I raised my eyebrow in interest. Only my mother ever talked to me the way she was now. Yes, very interesting.

She rolled her eyes. "You expect me to put up with this for three months during the filming? In the same house? With twenty other girls?"

"Actually, nineteen," I corrected. "And I know you'd rather it just be you and I, but honey, you have to win first."

She screeched in annoyance. "I'm going to kill you by the end of the show! God, how do you even have any fans? Oh right, they're all barely legal teenagers who think you're Gods gift to man and woman alike. It's sick, really. But pretty soon, you'll be just as washed up and overexploited as every other celebrity out there who sells themselves to the media. I hope you're ready for that."

She whipped the contract out of Jasper's hands and walked to the door. Her voice was calm as everyone looked at her in shock. "You can contact me at the hotel if you need me. You know where it is, since you placed the reservations. Sorry about that, Jasper," she added. Her gaze flickered to me and rested not even a half-second before she turned around and walked out, Rosalie trailed after her, telling Jasper thank you and a quick apology for Bella's behavior.

I turned to Jasper, "What the hell did you get me into?" She just verbally ripped out my jugular. How was I supposed to look at her again after I let her talk to me like that? I'm not cocky or full of myself, but any self-respecting person would have stood up for themselves. Even I knew that.

But no, I wasn't ready for it. Sometimes, I wondered what I was even doing. These movies, the girls, they weren't my life. Or were they? Was this really all I had become? Some meaningless flings, maybe a short-lived romance? A few blockbuster hits, raking in millions per week? Yes, this is what my life had become.

She had a point, and I didn't want to admit it, so I didn't. I shoved that and every other feeling I may have had for her at one point in the day away. The anger, annoyance, admiration, her beauty; I placed them in a box in my head and locked it.

She was just business, as usual. I would rock this TV show, get the movie role, and worm my way back into the hearts of everyone everywhere.

He just looked at me, maybe apologetically, but probably not. He knew this was what I needed. Both for my career and personally. Someone to kick the shit out of me every now and then.

"Let's just get this over with."


	5. I'm a Thorn in Your Sweet Side

**A/N: once again, thank you! for all the reviews and sorry for the delay. its a longer one. :) um..i mention a dress...and the link will be at my lj if you're interested. i dont know when the next one will be up - i'll be at a retreat all weekend and next week will be hell. but i'll do my best. thanks for all the support and reviews! enjoy and review.**

**BPOV**

"He's infuriating! He's cocky and a pain in the ass!" I yelled as I shoved sweaters into her bag. Why did I bring sweaters to LA? It was October, but could it really get that cold? Clearly, I wasn't thinking straight while packing, something I haven't been doing much lately. Thinking clearly that is.

"Well, he does have a nice ass," Rosalie said from her perch on the bed where she sat filing her nails. I shot her death glares. "Honey, I'll say it again, they got you. Jasper's phone call last night just sealed the deal. You'll have to go through with it. Just take pictures of him in the shower or something and we'll sell them. But you have to finish this. Well, start it first, and then finish it."

I sighed, sitting down on the floor against the dresser. When did things get so complicated? Maybe I was over-thinking it. It was simple, really, when you thought about it. Do the show, really just piss Edward Cullen off (that would be very fun, indeed) and then if he picks me (he won't), say yes, then dump him. And throw a massive party, piñatas and all.

"I know you're upset with me," Rosalie said, breaking off my reverie. "But I'm not sorry I did it."

I rolled my eyes, of course she wasn't sorry. It was Rosalie. "Was there supposed to be comfort in that? You may need to work on your compassion."

Rosalie barreled on. "You need something in your life other than work."

"And you think a TV show with an egotistical asshole will help me?"

She smiled. "It can't hurt. Especially when it's with Edward Cullen. Man, if Emmett wasn't completely perfect for me and I didn't love him to death," she trailed off and sighed dreamily.

"Sick, sick, sick. You – knock it off. I have to pack because the car will be here in half an hour. Sick." I literally felt sick. My stomach was churning, a swarm of butterflies choosing their home inside my digestive track. Digestion, food, sick. Stop it, Bella. And stop saying sick.

"You're kind of turning green, Bella," Rosalie said, matter-of-factly.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. Rose, Are you sure I have to do this?" I looked at her pleadingly, my hands gripping my stomach.

She came up to me and gripped my shoulders, forcing me to listen to her. "Yes, you do. Not only do you not have a million dollars when they serve you with a lawsuit, you could end up having fun. And who knows, maybe you'll actually end up liking him."

I could feel my eyes narrowing to a glare. Again. I've glared more in the past two days than I have in the past year. And mostly at two people – Rosalie and Edward fucking Cullen.

I sighed and Rosalie dropped her arms, pulling me into a hug. "You're going to be fine," she said into my hair. "I promise. And I'll owe you a big shopping trip." I glared at her again. I hate shopping almost as much I hate Edward Cullen._ Almost_.

I packed in silence as Rosalie rounded up all my toiletries from the bathroom. "That should be everything," I said as we walked down to the lobby of the massive hotel. I saw Jasper waiting in a plush armchair, yammering away on his cell phone. Okay, he was actually just talking quietly. Yammering is me being overdramatic.

He snapped his phone shut and walked over to us. "Bella, great, so glad you can make it."

"As if I had a choice," I mumbled, earning an elbow in the ribs from Rosalie.

He gave a half-smile. "I know that contract kind of sucks, but hey, you get to live rent-free for the next three months. That's got to count for something."

He had a point. God, I hate these show people more and more every time I meet them. Not Jasper, per se, but the principle of the people. They spend their lives managing other peoples' lives. Don't they have one of their own to lead?

He was still talking while my mind when on overload, as it does when I'm put in stressful situation, especially one against my will. "Why don't you come over to the bar because we need to discuss something real quick?"

Now I was in full-on panic mode. I looked at Rosalie who just had a dumb grin on her face as we walked over to the bar. Of course it had to be this way. It was my luck. My own future sister-in-law was prostituting me. What type of woman was my brother marrying? We needed to talk about this.

"Now," Jasper said as we sat down at a small table, "what I want to talk to you about. The station manager watched all the videos and," he paused; waiting for me to bare my teeth and make a feral noise, and continued when he was satisfied I wasn't doing either. Yet.

"She wants you to be the winner."

My jaw dropped, very obviously. "Can you actually tell me this? I mean, I know these shows are staged and completely rigged, but I didn't think they told which contestants would win and which would be sent packing."

"Well, I don't know about other shows, I guess," he explained, scratching his chin nervously, looking at the table, and maybe checking if my claws were extracted yet. "But that's how we're doing mine."

"Why me?!" I guess what I felt was pseudo-panic, because what I felt now was about one hundred times more potent.

"Carissa, the station manager, thought you were the most original. You know no plastic surgery, your real nose, and etcetera."

I gave him a blank stare that told him I was far less than amused. "I'm kidding, well, sort of. She thought you were the girl next door type. The one less likely to wheedle all his money from him in an alimony, if it would actually happen, which you know, it won't most likely," he added as he felt the heat of my glares.

"But," I was grasping at straws here, "I don't like him! He makes me so mad! You can't make a TV show out of all our edited arguments and my censored f-words!"

He laughed, "I'm sorry. I didn't have much choice over who got chosen."

"Take Lauren! Please!" I watched, pleased, as his eyes widened in panic at the thought of dealing with her for a whole three months. "Or that Alice girl." His reaction to that name was different. A flush and ducking of the head. Of course he would like her. "Fine, not Alice. How about that whore-y Katarina girl? Please, just not me."

"I'm really sorry, Bella. The only thing you could do is make the country hate you and be voted off, which I really don't see happening."

I looked at Rosalie. Of course! Why hadn't I thought of that? He must have seen the look of pure joy. "Bella, no, please. This is my career on the line. And Edward's, which I know you don't care for too much, but please. It's my ass if this blows up in the station's face."

I glared and slunk back in my chair. "Fine. I won't do anything. But believe me, he's going to want someone else to win, not me. And he knows that I'm going to dump him on his ass when the show is over."

He looked appeased. "Okay, just try not to do it publicly. You can handle the private matters, you know, the yelling and screaming you're so fond of, but let me handle the publicity."

Another one of my hopes crushed. "Fine," I grumbled.

"Great! Now that we have that settled, tonight, you and Edward actually have to go to dinner. The rest of the girls show up tomorrow."

I coughed. "I'm sorry? A dinner?"

"Well, yeah," he said, as if it was obvious. "You're the chosen one; you need to work on your chemistry."

"Won't take much," Rosalie interjected. "Try to resolve some of that sexual tension." I stared at her in shock and she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Um, yeah, that might work, but probably not. You guys really just need to work on not fighting all the time so that the camera crew can actually get some footage that won't need profanity edited from it."

"Like I said - sexual tension. God, the things you could do with that boy."

"Rosalie! Shut up!" Oh. My. God. I was going to kill her. I could feel the heat on my cheeks as I'm sure they were flushed red as cherries. No, apples. I want nothing that can be taken as a sexual reference in my head. Oh, good Lord. A whole dinner. Without yelling. And with resolving sexual tension.

Goddamn you, Rosalie!

"Look, what you and he do during your dinner is, ahem, up to you. Just try to work on…whatever needs working on. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dinner myself to get to. The car is outside where it will take you to the house where you can get ready. Edward will pick you up promptly at eight. Believe me, he is no more pleased about this than you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

A butler opened the door. Maybe it was a paid actor. Whoever it was, I didn't have to do it. And someone came and told me he was at the door. Of his own house. It was weird, to say the least.

Rosalie picked out a dress for me before a taxi came and picked her up from the mansion. It was some silk number that I don't know even how to explain. Was it even silk? I don't know. But it is a dark blue, flowing to my knees. An empire waist, with twisted type ropes tying in the back, and thick straps with the same type twists. Like I said, she found it. And said it would not only heighten my skin tone, but also drive him crazy. Aren't I lucky?

She handed me a pair of black peep toe pumps, and after doing my hair and makeup, left me all alone. Bitch. She was the one who got me into this; she should have to go on the date. My anger bitterness wouldn't help. And I really shouldn't be so angry at Rosalie. She is only trying to help, even if it was the worst idea she could have possibly come up with.

I sighed as I walked down the stairs to the door where he was waiting. This was going to suck. I didn't even bother to mask my negativity or my bad mood. Though he didn't look too excited about this either.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and he turned around from where he was standing in the foyer to look at me. I can't be sure what happened. I was just standing there awkwardly as he looked at me, not saying anything. I stood biting my lip nervously for about a minute before I decided to say something. "Um, I can go change if this isn't okay?"

What was I doing? A dress wasn't good enough for him and I just offered to change? This man is the epitome of everything I hate.

"No, no. Please don't. You're perfect. I mean, your dress is perfect. You look…" he trailed off looking around nervously, afraid he said too much. I _knew_ he said too much. What happened to that lovely hate and animosity we had just a few days before. It was so much easier then.

I was secretly pleased I could put him in that position. It was short-lived, however. He was so close, his face moving closer and closer to mine and I was so caught up in what was even happening that I wasn't even paying attention, as contradicting and ironic as that may sound. My thoughts ran together and I felt the rambling building up in my head and if he moved any closer I'm sure they would all come spilling from my perfectly glossed (no thanks to Rosalie) lips.

His lips were centimeters from mine. If I moved a fraction of an inch, we would touch. And then my handy dandy reflexes kicked in. I slapped him, hard. He jumped back, surprised.

"I'm…uh…ouch. That really wasn't necessary." He rubbed the place of contact warily, looking at me, exasperated.

"I'm not like your other gold-digging whores, Edward. Don't treat me like it."

He nodded in understanding. Finally, after three meetings and verbal spars, he may have finally gotten what I've been saying the whole time.

"Well, I guess we should just go eat and get this show on the road."

Oh, and he's funny, too. Not. I just want to smack that perfectly gorgeous smirk off his perfectly sculpted and angled face. And then maybe kiss the lips that formed said smirk. NO! Wrong. Back off, Bella. That is not where this is going.

I have to keep the plan in mind. What was the plan? I don't remember. He's trying to win me and I'm trying to keep him away from me. Right.

He offered me his arm and I slid my own through, trying to limit the contact between us. Once again, I ignored the sparks (of the same rage and hatred, of course) as we left the house toward a restaurant I probably had never heard of. All for this ridiculous show I never wanted to be a part of.

The butler (or actor? The question was still unresolved to me) closed the door behind us.


	6. Get Caught Up in the Pleasure

**A/N: i'm sorry for the wait. and it's shorter than usual. i thought about switching POVs halfway through but i hate it when that happens because i always get confused. so i didnt. :) i think that the next chapter may be the start of the show. finally. lol. anyways, i hope you like a little twist at the end... enjoy and review.**

**APOV**

He opened the limo door for me and I slipped inside, arranging my dress just so to give him a little peek. Harmless, really. Or so I thought. I knew I should be more careful because this guy is the _one. _I was sure of it. And it would suck to mess it up right away.

I heard his intake of breath and looked back shyly, which is odd in and of itself because shy is not a word in my vocabulary. He climbed in beside me and motioned for the driver to start moving. Apparently everyone knew where we were going except me.

I slid over carefully; he looked like he was concentrating. Maybe I should help him loosen up a little. I arched my foot over his lap and lithely moved into his lap. "Jasper," I whispered, pushing hair out of his forehead. "You look tense."

"Honestly? I'm working on not ripping your clothes off here and now." I felt his hands curve around my waist and I marveled at how perfect this felt. Like it wasn't our first date, but something we'd done a million of times before. He having a long work day (or in this case, amazing self-restraint) and me, comforting him.

"I can't say I'd be opposed," I said, a grin on my face as his hands moved through my black hair. Tonight's style was the same as the day we first met: going everywhere.

"I would hate to ruin this dress and never see you in it again," he said, one of his hands moving up my calf that sat by his thigh and up to the hem of the dress at my own mid-thigh. It was a bright blue with a pleated front, a large black belt around my waist. The back was my favorite being as it was nearly nonexistent. Paired with a pair of black strappy heels, apparently he approved. Not that I didn't know what I looked good already.

"Yes, that would be a disappointment," I breathed in his ear. His hands tightened and I slid my arms around his neck.

"We shouldn't do this before dinner. After, definitely. But I'm afraid I lose my self-restraint around you." I grinned at my affect on him. If only he knew what he was doing to me.

"Do you know what else I think we should do after dinner?" I asked, really excited. I'm waiting to see what this amazing house looks like that I get to live in, at least for a few weeks. If Jasper does what I'm praying he does, he'll take me off the show after a few episodes and I'll stay in Los Angeles for a little while longer until we hammer out details of a relationship. Why date Edward Cullen when I have my own right in front of me?

"Hm?" His hand was curving down the length of my throat and my eyes fluttered closed against my will at his touch. "What were you saying, dear?" he asked, a teasing note to his voice.

I glared. Now the game was on. I leaned forward and dangled my lips a whisper from his own. "We should go see the house for the show. I've been dying to see it," I said, my voice low.

"We can't mix business with pleasure," he said, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief.

"In that case, we've already broken all the rules and you should take me home immediately." I crawled off his lap onto the seat next to him.

He caught my wrist and dragged me back to him, and I ended up sprawled in his lap. "What I meant was we shouldn't talk business when I have a gorgeous woman in my arms."

"Much better," I whispered. He leaned closer to me, and our lips almost touched when the car stopped. Of course. Perfect timing.

I dragged my hand up the length of his thigh as I hopped out of the car. "Now we're even."

He smiled as he stood next to me. "I hope you like French food. I didn't know what to pick." His worried expression was so adorable.

"I love it. Really." I kissed his cheek and pulled him along inside behind me.

--

"So how long have you been working for Edward?" I asked as I pushed back a plate of what was chocolate cheesecake. At first, I didn't want to believe that this would go so perfectly. My mom always said I blew things out of proportion in my mind, jumped the gun. I would meet a guy and already be planning a wedding. But Jasper and I, we just clicked. We talked the whole time. And not just me talking! He talked too!

"Well, we've been friends since high school. We went to this private boarding school outside L.A. You know, drugs, parties, girls, and the usual. He got into acting during college and I was finishing up a degree at UCLA and he asked me to be a manager. He was drunk, no, I was drunk. One of us was drunk. And I agreed, and the rest is history." He finished off his red wine and motioned the waiter for more.

"Wow. So what about you? You don't ever think about doing anything else?"

He paused, his fork in mid-air. "I guess I never really thought about it. I've been doing this for a couple years. It's not too bad. But my degree was military history. Not womanizing movie stars. Not to say I don't love my friend, I do. He's my best friend. But sometimes it's difficult. I just never thought of doing anything else."

I swirled my forefinger along the rim of my wineglass. A habit I never kicked. "I guess its really cool that you guys are friends through it all. I've never had a friend like that. People think I'm too much, sometimes."

His eyes softened at me and I suddenly felt uncomfortable in his scrutiny. Like I was vulnerable, standing here naked in front of him. "I find that hard to believe," he finally said. "You just enumerate all this energy, how can people not be drawn to you?"

I blushed and shrugged. God! When was the last time I even blushed?! Subject change, Alice, now. "So when the show starts shooting, are you going to keep me there for a long time?"

He shifted in his seat. He'd obviously given this some thought, too. "Well, strictly speaking, as in it doesn't leave this table, Bella is the winner. The brunette one, quiet?"

"Oh yeah, she was gorgeous. No wonder Edward picked her."

"He didn't. I did. She called him on all his shit and actually yelled at him. She's the one." I was getting excited.

"I love matchmaking!" I blurted out and he laughed.

"Not yet. I sent them on a dinner tonight to sort out their issues, so God knows what is going on now. The only problem with that is she seems to want to get herself voted off."

This girl was smart. She hated him, needed a way to get off the show, and she clearly didn't care about her reputation. "I'll be her friend and make her stay."

Jasper looked surprised. "Really?"

"Well, yeah. You know, makeovers, fashion, all that stuff. I can help her. And Edward won't know what hit him." A smile graced his face and I couldn't help but smile along with him.

Jasper picked up the bill when it came (definite bonus – a date who actually pays) and laced his fingers with mine as we stood up to leave. "I guess because of your genius way of thinking," he began, pulling me outside the restaurant to where the limo was waiting, "we can go see the house."

I looked at the clock inside the limo and it was already 11:30. Did we really have a three hour dinner? We sat in a comfortable silence, my head leaning on his shoulder, our hands interlocked. His thumb stroked fingers on the top of my hand and I sighed, "Thank you," I said, finally. "For the date and for letting me see the house. I know you're not allowed to do either."

"I can make my own rules," he said softly. "I made the show."

I sighed. "This sucks, you know. Do you know how hard it is to find a decent guy these days? And you're just perfect and we can't even be together."

"Hey, I just said I can make my own rules, and a new rule is that we have a date tomorrow night."

"I like a guy who plays by the rules and can take control," I said, my hand on his thigh. "So how will this work?"

"I don't know," he said, "and I don't really care, as long as it does. I'm in this if you are. And I know its really soon, but I can't help it."

I must have been staring because he began back peddling. "Or not. We can just start with dinner and see where it goes."

I stopped him by pressing my lips to his. Talk about perfection. It was like the world stopped, and this huge cosmic mystery had finally come full circle and I knew exactly what I was doing in this world. Like every moment I ever lived was to bring me right here, and right here was where I was going to stay for the next five million years or so. Or as long as his lips would move over mine just like that and his tongue doing that to my lip…

The limo stopped and I groaned. Talk about timing. Or lack thereof.

The house was large and expansive, reminded me more of a castle than a house. I could really only make out its massiveness in the dark, and not much else. Jasper came to my side and took my hand, leading me up the front door to the steps.

He opened one of the double doors into the house and I knew my jaw fell open in shock.

Edward Cullen had someone pressed up against a decorative table by the staircase. His hands were going dangerously high up her dress as her hands were wound in his hair. Her legs were wrapped around his waist and she had these perfect black heels that I would just kill to borrow. She looked up at us suddenly, their lips making that embarrassing smacking noise, before her eyes widened in fear. It was the girl I recognized from the interviews. Bella? Yeah, it was her. Her legs untangled from around him and he looked over his shoulder.

We watched in shock as he looked back at her. Her eyes narrowed into slits and she muttered something she thought we couldn't hear. "This means nothing."


	7. Scared 'Cause I'll Feel Like Home

**A/N: I am SO sorry for the wait. college is crazy. i would have never thought... :) THANK YOU for all the reviews. really. it means more than you know or i can express. the chapter title is from a song called "sunday afternoon" by rachael yamagata off her new cd that just came out. GO CHECK IT OUT! because its amazing. her first cd happenstance changed my life and the second cd is doing the same. :) anyways, YAY for a longer chapter!! enjoy and review.**

**disclaimer: (which i ALWAYS forget) so for the rest of the story, SM owns it all. not me. or else i would own a functional computer. **

**BPOV**

It was official: if I wasn't ready to kill Rosalie before, I sure as shit was now. They had me in some prom dress-looking thing and heels. It was beautiful, yes, sleeveless with an empire waist in a bright blue. My hair was curled and styled, and yet I was in a taffeta hell. Girls, I'm sorry, contestants, were all around me in their huge freaking prom dresses. Thankfully, mine didn't have any of the layers that theirs did; I was still able to sit down.

I was in a haze of perfume and hair spray, coughing as I left the room designated for wardrobe corrections. I looked fine, I supposed. After the opening ceremony filming, we were going to be given our roommate assignments, which I was not looking forward to at all. To be on this show was bad enough, but to have some swirly-eyed girl mooning over Edward as a roommate was pushing the envelope. I leaned against the wall outside the dressing room, my eyes closing and I breathed in the clean, aerosol-free air. I would have punched the wall if it weren't for breaking my knuckler, or what would be Rosalie's concern, ruining my nails. God forbid. My eyes opened and visibly cringed at the man suddenly in front of me. "Gah. Don't you ever leave me alone or have you made it your own personal mission to piss me off for the rest of eternity?"

Edward seemed unfazed by my anger and hostility, as per usual. "You look beautiful." He gave me a cocky grin, but his voice was too low an octave for me not to take him seriously.

I rolled my eyes and stepped around him. "You're ridiculous. We hate each other."

He shook his head and smiled as his arm moved out to the wall to stop me, effectively blocking me between him and said wall. "Look, I talked to Jasper and you're it. So we at least have to act this out."

"Really, I don't understand how editing can fix me vomiting whenever I see you." I said sardonically.

"Cute. Just stop being selfish for a minute."

"Me?! You're dating twenty women at once and you have the nerve to tell me not to be selfish?"

"I'm trying to bear my soul here, stuff I won't tell anyone about my career and you're blowing me off."

I couldn't sit here and listen to him whine his sob story. Really. If I wanted to hear something that pathetic, I'd turn on reality TV while I worked out. I felt my teeth grind together; all those years and dollars sent to orthodontists my whole junior high career wasted. "You would choose a naked body over a naked soul any day, and not even care, let alone know the difference."

I hope that was an insult. I really couldn't remember what I just said. Its like whenever I'm around him, he brings out the worst and me, and things just come spouting out of my mouth. Or I do crazy things _with_ my mouth, as our dinner from the night before showed. He didn't even have to get me drunk for me to end up plastered all over him. But he had been talking about his love for classical music and his lips were just there and then I was right there too, and the next thing you know, some tiny little woman was standing there with her jaw permanently attached to the floor. And it had actually felt good. Which was something I haven't experienced lately.

"Well, usually I would see that as my cue to leave but not until we hash this out. Bella, I'm serious." His hands wrapped around my upper arms carefully, but firmly, so as to keep me from moving. "My career depends on this. You can just use this as a way to get out of Seattle, get your name and face out there. But please. Just do this for me."

"I don't want to 'get my name out there!' There is nothing out there for me! And why would I do this for you? You have done nothing but make my life a living hell since the first day I laid eyes on you!"

He pulled my arm roughly and shoved me into a nearby sound room so we wouldn't cause a scene. We weren't even supposed to know each other yet.

"Fine! Do it for Jasper so he can keep his job." I jerked my arm away from him and crossed them both over my chest protectively. "Don't give a shit about me, fine, but just do it for him. Please. You're in this now, and I know you can't afford the lawsuit."

I grumbled, kicking at invisible rocks on an indoor floor. Brilliant, Bella. "Fine. But after this, I never want to hear from you again. And if you ever mention what happened last night, I will personally castrate you. Then you can't spread your love to your fan club."

"Wow. You really dig these insults. Maybe picking you wouldn't be the best to get people to like me again."

I scoffed. "Please, you're Edward Cullen. Everyone loves you. You'll have a million dollar paycheck in no time."

"Everyone except you," he said pointedly.

"Well, someone has to keep you humble. Besides, I'm nicer than I've let on. I just hate you," I said cheerily, pulling open the door and stepping into the hallway where this conversation began ten minutes earlier. Girls were slowly coming out of the room and I whispered conspiratorially to him. "You better leave. The brothel that is your house doesn't open until ten."

He grinned. God, how I hated that man. He brought out a whole new range of emotions that I hadn't dealt with since I caught my last boyfriend cheating on me in the back room of my father's bar. Mostly loathing. Pure, unhindered, primal hatred. Lots of yelling, usually. This will be fun.

I always seemed to be wondering what he was thinking. Did I ever cross his mind as more than a mindless fuck? Not that we'd done that yet. Yet? No, not at all. Ever. _Ever_. It just seemed that now that he was consuming my every thought, and at the same time, he was always there in front of me in the flesh. It was so, God, there isn't even a word. Annoying. Disgusting. Thought-consuming. Amazing. The things we could do in an empty room. No. Wrong. Stop there.

My thoughts had even become a debate over what I should do. Stay in the show, yes. Forget all about last night, most definitely yes. Have a replay at a later date, still undecided.

The director was ushering us down the hallway to the grand staircase. I rolled my eyes at the sheer stupidity of the show. I caught Jasper's eye and he smirked. Oh, he had to be loving this. I was his gaze wander down the row of girls to the short, black haired beauty. She lowered her gaze and I swear there was a blush. They make me sick. How come they get an easy relationship? It was so unfair. And here I was, destined to be alone forever and be the neighborhood cat lady.

"And action!" I heard Pierre, the director yell from the bottom of the stairs where the cameras were set up and Edward was waiting. I felt my palms begin to sweat even though I was toward the end of the line. Seriously? This was happening to me? I wasn't fifteen anymore and my palms haven't sweated in this context since about that age.

The girls walked down the stairs one by one, only doing retakes if they fell (one or two girls), looked at the camera too much (cough, Lauren, cough) or forgot to walk (me). I heard the director yell at me again and I looked down to see Edward smirking up at me. I could strangle him and then kick him with my stiletto heels.

I walked slowly down the stairs, careful not to trip over anything, which is never an easy feat with me. I could feel eyes on me – Jasper, Alice, the director, Edward. I couldn't help but blush. It was hard for me not to look at the stairs as I walked so as not to trip, but somehow I did it. I made my way to where Edward was waiting and managed a smile as he took my hand.

"I'm Edward. I'm so glad you could come."

"Bella," I said. Yes, very brilliant. I gave him another coy smile though inside I was shaking. He had to have seen the utter annoyance and pure hatred I conveyed in that look. Or I hope he did, because it was mainly directed at him. And someone else. What could have possibly possessed Rosalie to send me on this God-forsaken show?

It was so strange how we could go from shooting daggers at one another, to friendly banter, to making out against a five thousand dollar mahogany table in his entry way, and back to the blind hatred. Something had to be done.

--

"Okay, ladies, I'll be handing out your room assignments. You can make your way up there for the night. Your bags have already been brought upstairs. We'll see you tomorrow morning at nine A.M. sharp. They'll start your wardrobe and makeup fixes then." Jasper finished his little chat quickly. The entrances took longer than expected and it was now pushing one A.M.

I took my sheet and opened it up. Apparently I was rooming with an Alice Brandon. Luckily it was the same room I had stayed in the night before so all my stuff was the way I left it. Across the large room, I heard Lauren Mallory whimpering that her room was far too far from Eddie-kin's room.

"But how am I supposed to comfort him at night? If you know what I mean, Mr. Whitlock."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, and that's actually forbidden on the show, Lauren. No sexual intercourse with the contestants."

"I don't remember that. I have to stay in practice!"

"I'm sure you do, but I'm sorry. It was just instated and there's nothing I can do for you. I'm sorry."

Yikes. There was a nightmare if I ever saw one. How Edward could even contemplate liking her was beyond me. My IQ drops every time I'm in the same room with her.

"Hi!" I jumped at the voice right next to me.

"You're Bella right? I remember your name from the pamphlet they handed out when we got here. We're rooming together! You know, your facial structure is just beautiful. Have you ever thought about maybe moving your part over a little? The way the hair falls can make all the difference."

"Uh, yeah, I've heard that. Alice, right?" I couldn't help but smile at this girl's enthusiasm. And I automatically liked her since she wasn't going to be falling for any of Edward's tricks since she has Jasper. Or did she?

"Oh! Gosh, yeah, I'm Alice Brandon! I'm from Seattle."

"I'm from Seattle, too!" Woah, tone down the excitement, Swan. Just because this girl will probably end up being your God-send from all that is Edward Cullen and save you from insanity doesn't mean you have to get carried away.

"I knew it, we're supposed to be best friends." I laughed as we started to our rooms, briefly catching Edward's gaze. He was staring at me (again) and had a small smirk on his face. If only I could smack it right off of him.

--

I sat on one of the queen sized beds in sweatpants and a tank top as I watched Alice dance from her suitcase to the closet and back again. Could any one person actually own that many clothes? Apparently so.

"So, I just want to apologize for last night," I started. "That thing with Edward and I was nothing. Just caught up in the moment, you know. I didn't mean to ruin your date."

She turned and smiled widely, "Oh, not a problem. It was actually interesting. You glare at him so much that you must hate him. It was definitely contradicting to see him pushing you against a piece of furniture."

Was my glaring that obvious? Maybe I should take it down a notch. "Are you going to let it go any further?" she asked me.

I plucked at strings on the down comforter and sighed. "I don't know. It's like I have no control over it, you know? I just keep going and then he's there and I'm suddenly right there against him and I can't even stop myself."

I have no idea why I was sharing this with a complete and total stranger. "I can see that. I also think you have the same sort of hold over him. His eyes practically never left yours all night." She closed the closet door. "I'm sorry, but I told Jasper I'd meet him in his office in downstairs to discuss contract stuff."

I laughed, "Sure. Contract stuff." She blushed and walked outside.

"Oh, hey, Edward. Making sure everyone got settled in alright?" I heard from outside. I stiffened and reached for the sweatshirt I had hung on the bedpost.

"Yes, I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable here. Alice, Jasper was looking for you."

"Impatient man," she muttered as I heard her walk down the hallway.

Edward leaned against the doorway of Alice and my room and grinned. "Well, that was interesting."

"What was? The show or Alice and Jasper."

He shrugged. "Both."

I rolled my eyes. "It's sickening how easy it comes to them." I really need to put on a filter when discussing my thoughts with people I barely know.

"I know. It's like they were made for each other and they've known each other their whole lives. You should have seen them this morning. It's unreal."

"Its impossible," I replied.

"So cynical on love?" he replied, his green eyes twinkling in excitement.

I snorted. "Look who's talking, Mr. I-sleep-with-four-different-women-a-day. There's no way you believe in love."

"Maybe I'm just looking for the right girl."

"In your bed?"

"Look, I know my fornicating ways bother you, but a little bit longer last night and you would have been in my bed."

So, so true. "Ugh, you disgust me. Why are you even here?"

"So you don't deny it?" He moved into my room and sat next to me on the bed, laying down to be lying horizontal across it, his arms crossed behind his head, his eyes closed.

"I'll repeat, what are you doing here?"

"You know, your continual denial makes me think that you actually want me to seduce you. Believe me, it wouldn't take much."

I really don't know what got into me. Next thing I knew, I was straddling him, my hair falling in front of my face as a curtain over us two, like we were the only ones ever in the world and this bed, this room, this postage stamp-sized piece of the universe was all that existed.

"And how do you know you would be the one doing the seducing?"

"I just…" he trailed off with nothing to say. He made up for his speechlessness when he lifted his head and crashed his lips to mine. My hand slid under his head to the nape of his neck, and I ran my fingers through the baby-soft hair I found there.

I felt his hand gripping my hip as our lips moved in perfect unison just like the night before. Good God, this man will be the death of me. I gasped loudly as his lips trailed down my jaw and the arch of my neck. My hands gripped his shirt as I moaned in an attempt to keep myself from ripping off his clothes and doing him right there with the door open.

"We have to stop doing this," I breathed, barely audible or intelligible, but I think I managed it.

"I know, they're putting cameras in the rooms tomorrow," he said, his lips still pressed to the swell of my breast above the curve of my tank top.

I smirked at him as our lips met again, "But not in the bathrooms."

We separated as a loud screech filled the room. "See, Mr. Whitlock! She's coming on to him! Before the show even started!!"

Jasper looked exasperated with a very angry Alice behind him. Lauren must have interrupted them as well.

"You went and got him just because of this?" Alice bit.

"Just because? This is so wrong! At least give everyone the same chance as you're giving this trampy whore."

I groaned and threw my legs over Edward's body to hop off the bed. He held my waist as I did, anticipating a typical Bella moment. "I think we all know who the trampy whore is in this room, Lauren, being as you've offered your services every time you've seen Edward in the course of this show."

Jasper intervened. "Okay, Lauren, to your room. Edward and Bella, my office. Alice, wait here." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips that escalated as Alice wrapped her arms around his neck.

I slumped back down on the bed, leaning on Edward's legs. "I think that Camp Head Jasper is going to yell at us," I said.

"I hope he lets us do arts and crafts still," Edward replied as Jasper pulled away with one more soft kiss for Alice.

"You two, come on." We climbed off the bed and trudged our way to Jasper's office, smiles on both of our faces.


	8. I'm a Drug You Don't Wanna Give Up

**A/N: wow, i can't believe i'm over 300 reviews!! and at the rate i got this one out at! :) this one is more serious (sorry...) but the next one is one of the shows. so yay!! BUT i hope you like it because i think i do. i haven't decided. OH and there's a little smut..not really because i don't know how good i'd be at writing it. its complicated. haha okay i'm done. enjoy and review!!**

**EPOV**

I walked up the stairs slowly after Bella. We just finished in Jasper's office and she mentioned she was tired. I couldn't think of anything to torment her with because my head was just so full of all that was Bella. Ironic, really: Nothing came to mind to say to her because thoughts of her were all that filled my mind.

I replayed the conversation we had with Jasper. We were in his office, Bella in an arm chair and me leaning on a nearby empty bookshelf that would most likely never get filled.

Jasper was sitting in his chair behind the desk, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "Look, guys, I'm really glad you guys are dating and everything is all swell and good, but you need to be discreet."

Bella's mouth opened her mouth and closed it. Then said, "Oh, no, we aren't dating. We don't like each other."

He smirked knowingly. Knowing what exactly is debatable. "Okay, I'm glad you are getting alone enough to tolerate enough and swap spit but, please, discreetness? I just told Lauren Mallory that Edward isn't allowed to have sex with the contestants and then she walks by your little show."

"Is that true?" Panic filled. Three whole months…alone…with my hand?

"Yeah, wouldn't that be a rough life, O Pimp Daddy?" Bella said sarcastically, and then snorted at her own joke. I glared at her as she smiled sweetly before looking to Jasper for an answer. If only she knew that I could throw her against the wall or push her to the floor and have my way with her now and give her the best she'd ever get, she'd be a little nicer to me.

"No, it's not true. I did it so she wouldn't bug me to put her room right next to yours. And maybe she'll turn down all the come-ons."

"Well, I don't think it'll be happening again, Jasper, don't worry," Bella said.

I ignored her and continued with another question. Of course it would be happening again. Like I can keep myself away from her. It was like one of us swallowed a magnet and the other one has the natural pull to match it exactly, something no one else could even begin to find. She would argue that I just have a metal heart, but I swear that's how it seems whenever we are in the same room.

"Discreet how?" I asked.

"Like nothing during show hours, not glaring at each other all the time, closing doors to bedrooms…"

Bella looked back at me accusingly. Alright, I forgot to shut the door to her room. What was I supposed to do when she was sitting on that large bed alone in her pajamas?

I was pulled from my thoughts at the sound of Bella's door slamming at the end of the hallway as she went inside her room. I had been unconsciously following her. Cullen, pull it together. It's just a girl. No, a very beautiful and well-figured and adorable and funny and biting woman.

I went up one more flight of stairs at the end of the hallway to the floor my room was on – and no one else's. It made me happy whenever I thought of it – this floor had everything I needed: kitchen, lounge, computer room, another lounge, a few other bedrooms, my own bedroom and bathroom. I would never have to leave if I didn't want to.

I toed off my shoes and unbuckled my pants to get ready for bed. I brushed my teeth roughly, apparently getting out all my pent up anger towards a certain female out on my pearly whites. I spit out the toothpaste and wiped my mouth on the hand towel the maid Maria must have replaced. I shrugged off my shirt and crawled into bed, grateful for the first day of this seemingly hellish nightmare. One would think being the only guy trapped in a house with twenty girls would be a relief, but if this night was any indication of how the rest will go, I need to invest in some therapy.

I closed my eyes and I regretted it when I woke up the next morning. The whole night was filled with Technicolor images of Bella, some where moving, others tableau where she simply sat and looked at me with her luscious brown eyes. The static around them created a haze in my head and it was like I couldn't shut it off.

The first: me sitting on the bed in this house, watching her shadow flicker as she changed behind an old-fashioned changing screen. I reached over the edge of the screen for her hand and led her out from behind; her being only clad in a silk robe that fell mid-thigh and a matching sleeping gown that fell to the same length. I spun her around once before attacking her mouth with my own and guiding her to the edge of the bed for a night of physical exertion.

One of her and me in this very bed in a New York apartment. She was clad in a lace-rimmed camisole and little boy shorts and I only in boxers. It was as if it were a typical day for us. We lay on the mattress with no pillows; no other sheets other than the white mattress cover (500 count, Egyptian cotton thread, of course). I was reading the newspaper aloud as she listened, her head buried in the crook of my shoulder. The sunlight streamed in and it felt like a typical Saturday morning.

It flashed to the next slide. It was her and me at a premiere somewhere. We were smiling for the camera, our arms wrapped around each other. I smoothed my hand over the swell of her stomach and the silk of her black evening gown. I looked up at her as if she was a deity on her own, and I knew the same look I gave her was reflected in my own eyes.

I was pulled to the next one, her lying in the grass on a blanket as a little toddler ran around with flowers in her hand, and there was a little boy running to the swing nearby as I caressed yet another baby bump. She smiled a beautiful smile that could only be compared to the sun shining brightly in the sky above us. That was happiness.

I woke up in sweat. That was how the night went. An endless projector shoved into my head to forecast what my life could be like if I even thought about settling down for real. The slides were vivid and continual, like a reel of film streaming through my consciousness, pausing briefly in each frame for a close-up of the scene.

My heart constricted in my chest more than once as I lay awake, waiting for daylight to break. I looked at the clock every minute, it seemed. 4:05. 4:06. 4:07. The night was endless. I was scared to fall back asleep for fear of what I would see. Maybe a blurred vision of us on a sandy beach in Bora Bora or her yelling at me as she's wheeled down the maternity ward before the birth of our child, and I'm filming the whole thing.

I don't understand it at all. What is it about her? She's not even that pretty. Okay, I don't have to lie to myself about that – she's gorgeous. Those wavy chocolate locks and dark brown eyes, the body a porn star would be envious of, and skin that almost glows in the light. And as I just finished writing a fucking ode to the woman, I think I should focus on her less redeeming qualities so I can stop falling head over fucking heels in love with her.

She's a bitch. She's tightly wound. She's too sarcastic. She hates shopping (Okay, not a fault; actually, a good quality I like in a woman). She hates Lauren (who doesn't?). God, these aren't bad qualities.

I mentally screamed. I didn't know it would be this awful to go to bed. I learned my lesson: dreams were awful and sleep wasn't worth it.

My mind was on overdrive as I dozed back to sleep.

_Her eyes glazed over and her mouth dropped open in a soundless "o" as my lips blazed a path down her bare stomach. Her chest heaved and her hands ran through my hair frantically as she struggled on remain grounded, to keep from floating away. I retraced my steps up and my fingers danced down her back as she caressed my head in the valley of her breasts, hands still mussing my hair. _

_I pressed a kiss to any skin I found, my eyes listening only to her, my eyes only for her, my lips only on her, my hands learning only her. I pushed her silk nightgown down the rest of the way from where I had pulled the straps and top down earlier. She lifted her knees to help me and I tossed it on the floor by the bed. She leaned over me again as she sat on top to give a kiss, her hair tickling my bare chest as her hands smoothed over any unclothed skin she could find. _

_I leaned back against the pillows and let her take the lead. She unbuckled my pants with shaking hands and pulled down the zipper carefully so as not to brush me _there_, out of nervousness or the fear of her own undoing, I don't know. _

_I heard them fall to the ground and she pulled my boxers down after, biting her lips in concentration. We were finally there – nothing between us, nothing to stop us. The door was locked – no more interruptions. She moved up my body, sliding her hands along my thigh and up my abdomen. I hissed aloud and she smirked at me evilly. I grabbed her hips and positioned myself at her opening. _

_A little teaser that had her whimpering, mewling, and gasping before we even had the real show. Her hands clasped over my own that gripped her hips as a I guided myself fully into her. I laced my fingers through hers and held them in the air to give her leverage and support, but letting her set the pace._

_This was Bella – warm, tight, and all-consuming. I groaned at the contact and fullness I felt when I was inside of her and reveled in the feeling it brought. Her eyes fluttered closed and my own became hazy. I didn't want to miss anything, though. She waited a moment to adjust to the size before she began rocking. Before she began the undoing of Edward Cullen. _

_When she began moving, I began falling. I already felt the immense love for this beauty, but now that not only did she have the body of porn star, but the sexual appetite, it changes things. _

_Her hands moved from mine, gripping the sheets, scratching my chest, aiming to find anything to anchor to as she moved, grinding her hips into mine. This wasn't what I was used to; I was used to the hard fucking, the fast, carnal devouring of someone, a little tryst in the sheets. No, this was real, the image of her over me forever burned into my memory. _

_When she came, I went with her. We tumbled over the cliff and she found my hand again, her nails nearly breaking skin. I forever memorized the crease of her forehead; the noises she made that would become a radio in my head. _

_She collapsed on my chest, her hair fanning out around us and I pulled our intertwined fingers to my lips to kiss the back of her hand. She lifted her head and smiled at me from under her eyelids and we fell asleep; I was still inside of her, and it was perfection. _

I jerked awake. Again. I need some sort of sleeping medicine. And I need to get rid of this tent in my boxers. Great. I moved to the bathroom.

The water poured down my back as I tried to get black and white pictures of Bella erased from my mind; as I tried to get the image of her on top of me out of my head. It was futile. How was I supposed to look at her?

I turned around suddenly when there was a knock on the bathroom door. "Hey, man, its Jazz. We have some news. Come downstairs when you're done. Bella, you and I are having a meeting."

--

"So what you're telling us is that while it was originally meant to be aired in the fall, not right away, it is going to be aired next month?" Bella asked, looking bright and radiant and most of all, sleep-filled. Unlike me.

"Yeah. A show dropped out of the summer lineup and they want this! It'll be good – there's never anything on in the summer and this will just make the difference."

"That's because people have better things to do in the summer than sit on their ass and watch reality TV, Jasper," Bella responded.

"You can be a little happier, Bella. Now you don't have to keep your mouth shut about this until August when it airs and not say who wins until May."

She looked appalled. "Who in the world would I say I was on this show to in public?"

Jasper sighed, "Look, I think it'll be good. Edward, what do you think?"

I hadn't said anything so far. I hadn't even glanced at Bella since I walked in the door. I couldn't. When I did, I knew my mind would be filled with rose-colored visions of us in bed or behind a changing screen.

"I think it sounds fine. The sooner I'm back on America's good side, the better, right?"

I heard a scoff from Bella and refrained from glaring, or even bothering to look in her direction at all. She'll just think I'm back to my selfish, regular self, the one not tied down to a girl. Even though, in reality, it's the farthest thing from the truth. She has me tied up and down and hanging scraps of my dignity, and still, she has no clue.

"Okay, that's it," Jasper said. "We'll tell the rest of the cast today. I just wanted to let you two know. Bella, if you want to go they are fixing makeup and wardrobe before they set up for the lunch outing."

"Oh, yay," I heard her mumble before I left the room without a glance back.

She was emblazed in my memory and I had to find a way to scribble it out, or burn it out, or fucking blow it up, but it had to be gone.

I can't be a part of her anymore. Anything we may have had now goes no further than this show. I just have to figure out a way to show her that I'm not interested in anything more than a strictly professional relationship. I can't give myself away.

Especially not to her.

She's like an aphrodisiac even in the simplest of ways. The way she walks is intoxicating. The way she talks, the way she fucking breathes and right now all I want her to breathe is me, but there is no way that I will let myself destroy her, and bring myself down along with her.

There was a ringing in my head and I watched her walk across the room, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she went to talk to Alice.

It was for the best, I knew. I didn't really think about the fact that I haven't really been known for my good decisions lately.


	9. Never Looked So Pretty, Felt So Real

**BPOV**

I was shocked when I walked out of that room. Edward was a complete asshole. Not that I was surprised, but I really thought that we were on amiable terms. Apparently not. I don't even know what I could have done to piss him off like this. I shifted uncomfortably in the doorway as he walked without as much as a glance in my direction across the room full of girls fixing their wardrobes. I looked down at my skinny jeans and black boots, my white tee and midnight blue wrap sweater and sighed. It was as good as its going to get.

I saw Alice across the room adding lip gloss to her lips and walked her way. "Bella!" she all but yelled. She reached out to fluff my hair in the back and I resisted the urge to smack her hand away. I have to be nice. The only way I will survive this trip in hell is to form alliances. And I have a feeling that Alice is someone that I want on my side.

I turned so we were both facing the mirror. "He's mad at me," I mumble so as not to draw attention.

"All the more reason to look nice," she replied quietly. She pulled a tube of lip gloss off the counter nearby and moved in front of me. I took one step back in fear. I hated lip gloss. Ever since my first kiss with Tyler Crowley where he thought it'd be a good idea to put on my lip gloss so he tasted good since he forgot to brush his teeth. Granted, we were ten at the time, but still. It made so much more sense when he came out of the closet at the end of senior year.

Instead, I took chapstick out of my pocket and waved it in front of her. "I hate lip gloss."

"How is that even possible?" she asked, shock evident on her face. I'm starting to really wonder if our friendship will be worth all the times I know she's going to play Bella Barbie and dress me up.

"Ask Tyler Crowley," I said before smoothing my chapstick on my lips. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"I didn't know you cared," Alice said, one eyebrow raised.

"I-I don't, really," I stammered. How was I supposed to go one day without one of his bone-melting, senses-shattering kisses? And we've only had two!

The camera-man's assistant, whose name I later learned was Andrew walked by, motioning a two minute sign before we were on. Alice bent towards me, "Make him jealous."

I turned to her, "What?"

"Oh, don't play dumb. You know, show a little leg to another man, flirt harmlessly. It can't do anything but get him all riled up. Believe me, I know his type. Then take him upstairs for a little rendezvous. God knows you need it; you can cut you and Edward's sexual tension with a knife."

"Alice! I'm not flirting with anyone nor am I taking anyone upstairs for a little rendezvous." She was reminding me more and more of Rosalie. Not always a good thing in my book.

"Fine, but don't say I didn't try to help. By the way, love the sweater." I was surprised; I actually got fashion approval from Alice. She bounded away to her interview.

I smiled at the man walking up to me. He stuck his hand out. "Andrew, but call me Drew."

"Isabella, but call me Bella." He seemed nice. He was tall, fair skinned, with his short jet black hair. He seemed to be about my age.

"So, this your idea of a good time?" he asked, smiling.

I snorted. "Yeah, right. I got tricked onto this show. By the time I figured it out, it was too late."

"Figured something like that. You don't seem as glamorous as the other girls." He jerked his head to Lauren who was arguing with Pierre the best shot to get her best angle. I didn't bother telling Drew that it would be very difficult to find a good angle on that girl. Maybe in the dark.

"Yeah, this is as dressed up as I get back home. What about you? What brings you here?"

"I'm a photographer, and this is just a fill-in job until my wife Mia, opens up her art gallery where she wants me to sell some prints."

"Oh, you're married? That's so cool." He seemed so young. I don't even know what I would do if I were married right now.

"It'll be a year in June." He seemed to swell with pride at that fact.

"Congratulations," I told him, and I meant it. It was hard not to be sincere with him. We talked easily until they came and got me for my interview. We parted ways but agreed to talk later during the show.

----------------

"So, Bella, what do you think of Edward so far?"

Breathe, Bella. You cannot be honest here. You have to be nice. My thoughts were racing as David, the interviewer person guy talked to me. I began to panic. It didn't help that Edward was in the back of the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. God, if I could just kiss those lips right now. But why is he mad at me?

I didn't know what to say.

"Well, he is a gentleman, but I think anything else I say would be based on what he looks like. I think it will take time for me to get to know him as a person, which I hope to do."

"Cut! That'll do." Pierre gave me a tight smile as he went to grab Lauren. I needed to leave fast before she saw me.

I left the room, knowing I was being followed. "What?" I snapped.

"So I'm a gentleman?" he asked, his voice cocky.

I snorted. Huh, twice in one day. This guy must bring out the worst in me. "Believe me, I had to make myself be nice so I didn't tear you a new one on primetime television."

"How thoughtful of you," he said. "Hey," he grabbed my arm and turned me to him. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

I sighed and led him up to my room. He closed the door and after confirming that they hadn't arrived yet to install the cameras, he began to talk. I sat on my bed and picked up my book on the nightstand, opening to the place I had marked before looking at him while he talked.

"You can't just go around talking to guys like that, when you're on a show to date me," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "I had to talk to David, it's part of the job."

"Not David, Bella. I swear, sometimes you are so oblivious; its maddening."

"Oh, thank you. Oblivious is short of calling me stupid."

"Andrew!" he said loudly. "Andrew is who I'm talking about."

"I'm not allowed to talk to Drew?"

"I didn't say that. It's just of everyone you could date here, you pick him."

"Oh yeah, because there are so many men to choose from." He was jealous. It was so adorable. It was hard to not smile.

"Bella, I'm being serious." A muscle in his jaw twitched. I had to keep from laughing. "It's not funny, Bella!"

I actually laughed out loud there. "Oh, yes, it is. You're jealously is most definitely funny."

He all but growled and paced in front of my bed. "I'm not jealous. You're supposed to be discreet and what are you doing? Throwing yourself at men whenever they walk by."

I stood up. "Excuse me? You better stop there because you're one step away from calling me a philandering whore, when in fact, you're the fornicating slut in this whole relationship."

He ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up even more than usual. "I'm not calling you a whore; that's not what I'm saying at all." He stood in front of me, rubbing his hands up and down my arms as I watched him, less than amused. "Just don't do it in front of me."

"Yeah, we'd hate for you to get jealous. Don't you want to know what we talked about? For all you know, we could have a date set up for next weekend." I was baiting him, but for God's sake, the man was being a little holier-than-thou and it was really pissing me off.

He looked at me sharply. "Bella, I don't think that's a good idea. He's hardly stable. He's a camera-man's assistant for Christ's sake."

I ignored him. "Ask me what we talked about, Edward," I bit out.

He sighed. "Fine, what did you talk about, Bella?"

I raised my eyebrows. "He told me all about his wedding last June to the love of his life, Mia. He loves photography, and this gig is just filler until he gets some of his prints sold."

I sat back down on my bed, pulling my copy of Wuthering Heights off the table next to me and found my spot. I looked up and he was still standing in front of my bed, hands on his hips looking confused and dare I say it, relieved.

"Now what's wrong with you? Lauren opted out of a frisk in the sheets before you came in here?" I asked him, looking up from my book.

He moved as lightning speed, the grace of an agile lion pouncing on his prey, and he was straddling my lap, his arms on either side of my waist, trapping me to the bed.

"You do know that I could fuck you nine ways to Sunday, make you scream until there was nothing left of your voice," he traced a finger along the line of my throat as my head fell back against the pillow at his words, eyes fluttering close. How did he do this? "I could do all that, and you know it, and you'd never want to leave my bed."

I bit my lip in repression of all the feelings he was stirring in me. Seriously. Someone would think that I had never even had sex before, but in all honesty, I've had orgasms less pleasurable than his weight and the feeling on top of me.

I smirked and reached by hand down to cup his crotch. I watched him start in surprise. "Who said I would mind?" I asked in his ear. "I would even help you. I could even wear one of those baby-dolls that cover nothing and you can tear it off with your teeth."

The shift of power was beginning and I could feel his resolve slipping. It would happen in a brief second, one little change and it would all be over; well, no, it would be starting and it would be the most amazing…ten minutes, probably, of our lives. Maybe fifteen. Unless we took into the evening hours.

"Where's Alice?" he asked as his lips ghosted my collarbone.

"I don't know," I breathed, hands tangling in his hair.

He smirked against my skin. "A risk we'll have to take, I suppose."

I held my hands in his hair as he carefully unwrapped my sweater. I lifted my stomach to allow him to pull it off fully.

His hands trailed down the curves of my stomach and I arched towards him in response, my hands winding in his hair again. He pushed my tank top up, his hands smoothing reverently over my skin. We hadn't gotten this far before; to where I was sitting in my lavender lace bra and he hovering over me with a look that made me feel incredibly primal and ready to jump his bones. He continued pulling my shirt up and I lifted my arms to let him take it off completely and throw it over his shoulder. I made quick work of the buttons on his shirt, sliding each one through their hole with shaking hands.

He shed that quickly too, and I slid my hands over the planes of his chest. Good Lord, the man was a fucking god. I looked up to see him staring at me with a strange look on his face – adoration, amusement, maybe something else thrown in there too. I wrapped my hand around the nape of his neck to pull him to me to crash my lips to his. I felt his hands blaze a path down my back and I gasped when he unhooked my bra.

I held my breath as he kissed down the swell of my breasts and back up down the slope of my shoulder and the arch of my neck. He was everywhere and yet, his touches were doing nothing to satisfy me.

"More," I mumbled into his lips when he moved towards me. He undid the snaps on my jeans and I jumped at his cold hands on my skin. He chuckled and stilled my movements by placing his hands on my lower stomach. He fingered the edge of the lace boyshorts I was wearing, though he couldn't tell what they were. Yet.

My legs wrapped around his waist and attempted to pull myself up to him to assist the process of him satisfying me, as he was clearly having problems getting the message. My lack of coordination only made that end badly as I brought us both down, his full weight landing on me. I laughed and he slid down to press kisses around my navel.

And here we were, in the middle of the day, after a quasi-fight, more of a misunderstanding. One of my hands covered his, guiding him down further so that maybe, just maybe, we could get this show on the road. Of course, with my luck, it was doomed to fail.

"Oh, Bella, look what I found!" Edward and I both looked over his shoulder to Alice who was holding a pair of Manolo Blahnik heels. "Oh, look what I found," she repeated coyly when she saw our states of…ahem, indiscretion. "I thought they would go nice with your evening dress and you can woo some boys. Don't you agree, Edward?"

He mumbled something incoherent. He looked down at me and his shoulders sagged in disappointment as much as they could as his arms were bracing his weight above me. I could see it clearly written on his forehead: Cockblock. We must have looked quite a sight. My hair was frazzled I'm sure, and my legs were still wrapped (sort of) around his. Yet, as he looked down at me, I swear I saw something else. I can't say what it was because when I looked again, it was gone.

I sat up, forcing him to do the same. I held my bra to my chest and pushed him off of me. He reached behind me to clasp my bra for me and I looked at him in thanks. He picked up my tank top while I fastened my jeans again, and lastly, he handed me my sweater before he put on his own shirt. No one could ever say he wasn't a gentleman.

He bent down and smoothed hair out of my face and pressed a kiss to my forehead before placing his lips to my ear. I shivered to hear his words.

"Mark my words, we will finish this. Soon."


	10. Crack the Shutters Open Wide

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait. Really, I am. On the bright side, I'm done with school until the middle of January, so hopefully I can get a few more updates in. This chapter is meh...I don't know. I feel like i never develop outside characters, but only focus on Bella and Edward. And this chapter is more of that - Bella and Edward, that is. :) And I don't think I'm good at lemons, so sorry about that. Anyways, I always love to hear what everyone thinks. Let me know! Enjoy and review. **

**EPOV**

I left the room quickly after Alice had come barging in. I knew once I had stepped into her room twenty minutes earlier I was done for. I saw the changing screen and I was immediately pulled back to the scene in my head. I saw the bed and her sitting on it reading and it ended me.

It was useless to deny that I was attracted to her – physically yes, but also on a deeper level. I had yet to discover how deep it was exactly, but I intended to find out. Gone to hell were my stupid decisions from less than two hours ago to avoid her at all costs and waste my time with other girls on the show. Now it was only her. She was going to be the winner. I just had to figure out how to make that happen without pissing her off.

I went upstairs to my room, thankful that they gave us the day off. It seems like we hardly work, but then I remember they film everything – dinners, any chance encounters, the girls' conversations, trips to the hot tub out back, little walks they have a choice girl and me take, everything. Then a trip to the editing booth, a few interviews, and they have an episode finished.

I flipped on the TV to see the episode. I must be a masochistic man if I actually want to watch this. I cringed at the little ditty they had playing before the show and the elegant wedding-invitation font was displayed on the screen – I Want to Marry Edward Cullen! Just because of this show, when I get married – if I get married – I'm going to forgo the whole wedding ceremony and just go to city hall.

I wonder what my mother thinks when she watches this.

"After a recap from last week," the host David began, "we'll see what the women and lucky Edward have been up to this past week."

Last week, oh, right, dinner.

We sat at a long table, Lauren across from me. I spent the whole time keeping her foot on the ground and away from my, ahem, parts. Bella was all the way at the end, laughing with Alice. Jasper strategically places her away from me to keep us apart. Apparently, we're too good together for our own good.

The camera zoomed on Bella laughing at something, her evening gown dipping dangerously low, making me squirm in the armchair I was sitting in. A voiceover came on the screen.

"Last week, Elena was voted off. Viewers saw her more as a friend to Edward than as marriage-material. I hope she'll recover, and if not, she can always knock on my door. And what about America's sweetheart? She was placed out of reach from our Edward, but will she still prevail and be the girl of his dreams? Find out tonight in this episode."

It went to interviews with the girls. Lauren was first. "I think Edward and I would be like, completely perfect together. I'll even split my mirror time with him. Really, I can do my makeup without looking now."

That explains a lot, I thought. She looks like a clown most of the time.

"That's really generous of you, Lauren," David said, biting back a smile.

"Well, we are both known for our big hearts, and other big assets, if you know what I mean. That's why I think we'd be so great together." She gave a sick smile and adjusted her chest to attempt to look more appealing. To who, I don't know, and I'd rather not know.

Alice spoke next, her enthusiasm nearly palpable through the TV screen. "I think he's such a nice guy, but we'll have to see. I'm a lot to handle, I know, and I don't want to scare him away. I need to know that he's the man to handle me."

I shook my head. We planned that speech together. Despite her freakishly fast relationship with Jasper, I was so incredibly happy that my best friend had finally found the girl for him. And he seemed more than capable to handle all that was Alice. I'm glad I got her as a friend in the deal as well.

Not to mention she had the inside scoop with Bella.

Bella's face appeared on the screen. It amazed me that for someone who hated the show, she always looked so at ease. She had a small smile on. "We've been progressing nicely, getting to know each other as friends. I think it will take time for me to be comfortable with him as more than that." She fiddled with her nails.

Oh, if only America knew what its sweetheart did behind closed doors.

I looked up as Jasper walked into the living room. "Hey, man."

He smiled, "Hey."

"Okay, I don't need to know anything that you and Alice have been up to."

He laughed, "I wasn't going to tell you. Things have just been really good. I'm taking her out tonight."

"I'm sure she'll love it, whatever you're doing."

"Yeah, I'm not too worried about it like I was the first date. Remember that?"

"God, you made question your sex. I don't even stand that long in front of a mirror."

"Well, thank God it turned out okay."

"I'm happy for you, man." And I was, really. Jealous as hell that he could find his soul mate without a TV show. Oh, wait, no, he couldn't. I laughed internally.

"Thanks. So what is Bella up to tonight?"

I looked up quickly at his question. "How should I know?"

He looked down sheepishly. "I don't know; I guess I thought you guys were close or something."

I laughed, "No. I don't have any idea of what she's doing."

"Maybe you should take her out, or order in. I know Lauren and a bunch of the girls went to a club. You're safe for a while."

"Thanks, but no."

"Don't be so harsh on her, you know?"

"Why not? She's the exact same to me."

"You haven't been cheated on like she has."

I looked at him. "What?" Someone would cheat on her? Did they have any idea what they let slip from their hands?

"I don't know much about it. She told Alice and Alice just brought it up. Apparently Bella walked in on him with someone else in the back of Bella's dad's bar. It was almost a four year relationship."

"I didn't know."

"Well, it's not really a conversation starter."

"So that explains the cynicism."

"Yeah, I'd guess. But hey, I have to go. Alice wants to leave soon." He turned to leave.

"You're so whipped already, Jazz," I called to him.

"Yeah, and you're jealous," he replied.

I sighed before hoisting myself out of the chair. Maybe I should go see what she's doing.

I knocked on her door, realizing that these visits to her room were becoming more of a habit. A more alarming thought was the fact that I didn't really seem to care. In fact, I liked it.

I heard a muffled crash and opened the door, seeing the lamp from her bedside table on the floor and Bella nowhere to be seen. "Bella? Are you okay?"

"Huh?" I then saw her. Or her shadow, I guess. And wished I hadn't. I saw the outline of her curves as she tugged a shirt off and over her head from behind the changing screen, and I just decided that she would be the death of me. She shimmied out of her jeans and I stood, transfixed.

"I just heard the lamp fall over and I thought you hurt yourself." I struggled for that response.

"Oh, no. I just knocked it over while I was trying to take my socks off. I tripped on a shoe."

I chuckled at the absurdity of it all; it was such a Bella thing to do. "So I can call off the ambulance?"

"Ha ha," she said sarcastically. It seemed to me that she didn't even care that here she was, changing her clothes. And here I was, creeping, for lack of a better word.

"Oh, shit," she mumbled, but I barely heard her, because she just took her fucking hair clip out and I was watching the shadow of her hair tumble in the glow of the lamp and streetlight behind her.

"What?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Well, can you hand me those jeans and the shirt that are on my bed?" No, I most certainly will not. You are not allowed to put clothes on. New house rule for all residents named Bella Swan.

I scooped them up and walked over to the changing screen, making the mistake of walking too far and seeing her standing there, just there, in her lacy bra and matching boy shorts of that periwinkle blue. Right, a woman was nearly naked in front of me and I'm thinking of color schemes.

She was beautiful. Her flat abdomen and a little tattoo peeking out from the ruffle on her panties. Her alabaster skin shone in the dim light, making it almost glow or glitter, maybe. You could see hints of red in her hair, her eyes wide as she watched me watch her.

"Um," she said, crossing her arms over her bare stomach.

I turned around, "I'm sorry, I just…" I didn't hear her moving at all, and I looked over my shoulder briefly before turning back around to face her fully. She was gripping the clothes in her hands, but made little effort to cover herself up.

I couldn't restrain myself. There was only so much a man could do; no, I reached out my hand and traced my fingertip along her collarbone, taking sick pleasure in watching her shiver, out of cold or arousal, I didn't know. I hoped the latter. She placed her cold hand over mine, and pressed my palm into her chest, right on her heart and I felt the reverberations. The feeling heated my skin as I pulled her to me and crashed my lips to hers.

I felt the clothes drop to our feet as her hands wound in my hair, making the two-hour shampoo, dry, and style session earlier today go to waste. I didn't give a fuck. She could do that all she wanted and she would never hear a word of complaint from me.

We stumbled back until her back hit the window, her lips never once straying from mine. My hands tumbled down her arms, skimmed up her abdomen as my lips flew down her chest and up her neck, behind her ear. I was everywhere and her hands only pulled me closer, but it was impossible for us to be any closer.

My hands rested at her hips while I pulled away, resting my forehead against hers. "You have to know that's not why I came in here."

She smiled, "Yeah, I know. It's just a bonus. What did you need?"

"I was going to see what you were doing tonight."

She looked up into my eyes. "Were you going to ask me on a date? You want to date me, you want to love me," she started singing that annoying song from Miss Congeniality. Oh, God, its even worse I knew what that was.

"Did you know your America's new sweetheart?" I asked, changing the subject.

She groaned and dropped her head to my chest. "Great. Now I have to uphold a good reputation. Life was so much easier before this show."

I stopped her rambling by pressing another kiss to her lips. My tongue traced the outline of her lips, daring her to open for me. She met my request and rose up on her tiptoes, her arms wrapping around my neck again. I swear, if I could freeze a moment in time, it would be this one. Her wrapped all around me barely clothed, the only light being a measly lamp and a streetlight.

"Cold window," she mumbled against my lips when we paused briefly. I pulled her away but stopped when I heard the door to her room open. Not a-fucking-gain.

"Bella?" Alice's voice was heard.

"She probably went out, Al," Jasper said, "It's the first free night in a week." Bella pressed her finger firmly to my lips. Luckily, we were far enough in the corner where we couldn't be seen.

Our eyes were locked the whole time, and I had to resist the urge to take her finger in my mouth, or try something in front of our friends – just to push her. But something told me that she wasn't someone I should fuck with, no matter how much I wanted or how pleasurable it may be.

Alice flicked off Bella's lamp, leaving us in nothing but streetlight. "Well, we don't want to be late for that movie," she said suggestively, and we heard them leave.

I stepped away from her. "That was close."

"Yeah, but we didn't get caught," she said, a vixen smile on her face.

She grabbed my belt loops and pulled me back to her, one hand cupping my cheek as she kissed me sweetly.

I relished in the feel of her, and internally sighed. This was all she would ever be for me. She didn't believe in love, and honestly, I believed in it too much, even though my actions certainly don't show it. I would ruin her like I did every other girl, throwing her on the scrap pile along with so many others. She'll be bitter and jaded, but she'll be better to be rid of me.

It was what she wanted – a roll in the sheets. She didn't want commitment, I could tell that much. She had been burned once, and once burnt, instinct shies away from the flame. And I was most definitely a flame that was destined to destroy.

Her lips pulled me from my incredibly depressing thoughts. Should I be thinking these things with a nearly-naked woman in my arms? The woman I would inevitably break. Her voice brought me back yet again.

"We need to move away from the window unless you want everyone to see you fucking me," she said. Part of me thrilled at the idea, letting the world see how I corrupt America's sweetheart, and the other part of me, the bigger part of me, wanted her to myself. No one else.

My possessive, animalistic nature won, and I pulled her with me to her large bed. I pushed her back until her knees hit the edge of the bed and she fell back, gripping the hem of my shirt to bring me with her. My knees rested on either side of her hips as my hands palmed her chest, savoring the feeling of goosebumps following my touch on her skin, her mouth falling open in pleasure, eyes fluttering close in ecstasy. My mission changed; I was no longer after corrupting the prized possession of reality TV viewers' hearts, but to please her.

She slid her fingers down the buttons of my shirt, expertly popping each one from the hole, shoving it off my shoulders and onto the floor. She lifted the hem of my t-shirt and I helped her shrug it off. Her hands smoothed over the planes of my chest, the ripples of my abs, and I bit back a moan as her lips and tongue followed the path her hands paved.

My hands closed over hers to still her movement and she looked up at me under hooded eyes. Bedroom eyes, the brown glowing and shimmering in the streetlights, beckoning, summoning me to her. And who was I to deny this siren, this beauty, this owner of my heart?

"We have all night," I said slowly, softly. She smiled shyly and lifted herself up to press her lips to mine. We fell back again, and I skimmed my fingers down the curve of her stomach. I felt each twitch as my hands fell lower, then snuck behind to unlatch her bra.

She arched up and trailed her tongue along the arc of my ear. She was going to be the death of me. "Foreplay is overrated. Especially when we've been doing it the past few weeks."

I smirked, hooking my fingers in her panties to drag them down. I ran my palms back up her legs as I moved back up to kiss her. Her hands fumbled with the belt, and I helped her by kicking off my jeans and boxers.

She smiled as I pulled a condom out of my back pocket.

"Always prepared," I joked.

"What a boy scout."

I didn't even give her time to prepare before plunging into her. She gave a sharp cry of surprise before giving me a glare. I couldn't be bothered to care because it was so perfect, so right, so Bella.

I started moving and her eyes fell closed and I squeezed her hand to get her to look at me. "No, I want to see you and I want you to look at me." She nodded as I kept moving, in and out. She arched her back to me, crashing our lips together. Our eyes were still locked, hands still locked, bodies still locked.

She rocked her hips, and I groaned, feeling the pleasure building. I felt her muscles tighten around me as she unwound and I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I collapsed against her, reveling in the feeling as her chest rose and fell quickly underneath me. Her hands wound back into my hair, running back and forth.

I couldn't help but feel a post-coital type of perfection, serenity and peacefulness. Her motions lulled me to sleep, without even bothering to move from on top of her or even pull myself out. She pulled a blanket over the two of us as my head rested in the valley of her breasts as I moved to dreamland.

Before I fell asleep, a thought hit me. Dream scene one with the changing screen: check.

Good God. What could happen next?


	11. Each Confession I Make

**A/N: Chapter 11 Redux! Yay! Enjoy. :) **

Each confession I make

**BPOV**

Alice was voted off the show. Apparently, she was more of a sister figure to Edward. And to me, but they didn't mention that. What was I going to do without her?!

I sniffled, blinking tears away. This show was making me hormonal. Or it was just that my one and only friend, my only confidante was leaving.

Alice rolled her eyes, but took a break from neatly packing her two dozen or so suitcases to hug me. Okay, maybe not two dozen, but the girl did have a lot of clothes. Thankfully, she wasn't at all disappointed at the recent turn of events, and instead, was incredibly excited to get on with her life post-reality TV. I was jealous of her, to be honest.

"Honey, I'm just going to a hotel in LA until the show is over. I'm not heading back to Seattle yet," she said into my hair, smoothing it down in a motherly fashion.

"What will you do until then?" I asked, not so gracefully wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

"I don't know; I have some sketches that some designers are asking to see of my dresses, and then once the show is over, Jasper and I will decide if we want to stay here or go to Seattle."

Okay, now I was insanely jealous. She had her Prince Charming and mine was gallivanting off with Lauren Mallory on their date night tonight. Life was cruel.

"Now," Alice continued, "I hung up outfits in your closet. They are separated, so you shouldn't mismatch any of them. I even color coordinated the hangers for you. They should last for a few weeks and then we can get together and do some more shopping. Okay?"

I nodded, sitting on my bed and picking at loose threads on the comforter. Bored with the threads, I picked up a throw pillow and hugged it to my chest as I watched her dance around the room throwing toiletries in a bag on her bed, unmentionables in a little silk laundry bag, my wayward clothes in their proper drawers since I have become indifferent to the state of my clothes or where they seem to end up at the end of the day.

She came to sit on the bed next to me. "Besides, you and Edward can have some alone time now that I'm gone." She nudged my shoulder playfully.

I snorted. "They finally got around to installing those stupid cameras the day after our first rendezvous. Now the only place we can even think about doing anything is the bathroom and his floor. Oh, I wonder what it would be like in the whirlpool…"

Alice laughed and I fought the urge to barrel on with my problems. I didn't want to bombard her with my problems in the midst of her eviction from the Edward Cullen Whorehouse this week, but now I was this close to breaking down. And she didn't seem to broken up (actually, she wasn't at all broken up) about her impending departure.

Things weren't going well. At all. The next morning, we had snuck up to his floor – God, he has his own _floor_ – to take a shower without Alice interrupting us when she would inevitably come back not-so-discreetly from her date with Jasper. Throughout the day, I then found out what it was like to be fucked on the coffee table, against the wall, on his living room rug, the kitchen counter, and the seat in the shower. Needless to say, we were exhausted by the time we separated that night to our own rooms.

But it was worth it. The feeling of his sinewy muscles arching underneath my fingertips, the way he would trail his nose down the swell of my chest to the valley of my breasts and back up the path to trace the column of my neck, the way his hair felt as it fell through my fingers. I stared wistfully out the window, unaware of Alice's attempts to get my attention.

"What, oh, yeah," I returned my full concentration on Alice and what she was about to tell me. Or rather, ask me.

"Is everything okay, sweetie?" she asked, her hand on my forearm.

He and I had spent every night together since, only on his floor, because of the camera's and Alice coming and going all the time. I basked in the moments where his arms were wrapped around me, tightening subconsciously when I dared to try to pull away. I let out my breath in whoosh of air that blew my bangs out of my face at the same time.

"I'm in love with him, Al," I said softly, resting my head in her lap while she ran her hands through my hair.

"What's so bad about that?" she asked.

"Because he's everything I hate. He's egotistical and an asshole, not to mention a womanizer, but then he's sweet and caring and completely perfect in every way. And what's bad about that? There is no way he would ever be with someone like me."

Alice paused her ministrations, her hands held still in my hair. "What do you mean 'someone like you'?"

"You know, plain and simple. I work in a bar, for Christ's sake." I closed my eyes, willing all my feelings to go away. Just let me sit here with my best friend. Keep him out of my mind and away from my thoughts and my body and everything will be just dandy.

I needed a reprieve from these feelings, these overwhelming, exhaustive emotions that came barreling at me from every direction constantly. Even when I was in the same room as he, it was like being under fire but the bullets were sharp pokes in the heart, reminding me how perfect he truly was.

We were interrupted by Jasper, who came running to the doorway, stopping, breathless. "Change of plans. Bella, get dressed for dinner. Lauren has food poisoning and we need to get some sort of filming done tonight. So you're up for dinner."

I rolled my eyes and pulled myself off the bed. "Joy."

"Oh, and Bella?" he asked as I moved to my closet, fingering my clothes, mentally going through my rolodex of outfits trying to find something to wear. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"No, you may not," Alice said, shoving me into the bathroom. "She has to get ready!"

"But it's about the show," he persisted.

"It can wait, Jazz, I promise. I need to make her look hot," Alice said, kissing him quickly on the lips.

Great, now Alice was hell-bent on making Edward realize that not only was I in love with him, but that he had no other option but to fall head over heels with me as well.

Alice helped me get dressed in a tight, red silk shirt-dress and black heels. She quickly curled my hair while I put on light makeup to make my eyes less dull with the constant etch of unrequited love.

"You look perfect," Alice whispered as she hugged me.

She stood by Jasper and wrapped her arms around his waist as I walked by them to my doom. A dinner with the man I was in love with. I laughed at the irony of this – a dinner was how our whole foreplay really got started.

Roger, the man who first opened the door for me, once again opened the door for Edward and me. I learned he wasn't in fact an actor, but was in charge of the house. Edward opened up the door to a silver Volvo for me as I climbed inside. I felt him stop to try and say something, but instead shut the door after I got in and went around to his side.

"You know you look stunning, right?" he asked as he fiddled with the radio to find something decent to listen to.

I blushed, my gaze dropping to the floor before I looked up him from under hooded eyes.

"The camera crew is already at the restaurant, setting up the room," he said and I had to shove the disappointment away. This was a TV show; of course the camera crew would be there. It's stupid to think that I'd actually get to have a dinner with him alone, I thought sarcastically.

We sat in silence for the drive into the city. I'm glad that even after our more…intimate time together, we could still sit comfortably with each other. Every now and then, I would see him look at me out of the corner of my eye, almost say something, and close his mouth again. He would then return his gaze to the road.

I watched as his hand slowly reached for mine, rubbing slow circles along the skin between by thumb and forefinger. It made me soften a little inside and be a little less bitter about this ridiculous TV show. It made me feel like maybe I really was the one that he wanted and not just another girl between his Egyptian cotton sheets.

I sighed, leaning my head against the seat. "I'll be so much happier when this is all over," I said, looking out the window, seeing nothing but inky black sky. I would be able to go back to my job and stop worrying over what Edward Cullen was thinking about me, or hell, even if he was thinking of me. But the prospect of being without him, without ever feeling his fingers trace my skin, his breath taunt my lust, his mere being tempt my libido, not to mention heart, was a daunting one.

His gaze was on me. I didn't have to see it; I could feel it boring into my body. His hand pulled out of mine and he ran his arm up my forearm, urging me to look at him. "Is it that bad for you?"

I backpedaled and tried to remember what it was I had just said. "I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that I'll be able to go back to work, see my dad, get back into my routine that doesn't involve me being on primetime television."_Back to where I don't have to be reminded of you everywhere I go_, I thought to myself.

He gave a tight smile as I wrapped a hand around his, "I'm serious. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Like the day we first met."

He chuckled and I quietly let out a breath of relief that he didn't stay offended. "God, I thought you were going to take my head off when I used that line on you."

"It wasn't even a good line, Edward. Seriously. What was it? You don't want to watch where you're going; otherwise I'll think you'll fall for me? Amateur stuff, there, Cullen."

He smiled at me. "It worked before. Girls were just lining up to get in my bed."

I imitated the tight smile he gave me earlier and ignored the feeling that someone had just delivered a punch right into my gut. The one that literally takes your breath away and burns in pain. That's what it felt like to hear him describe what his meaningless flings were, and in a sense, what I was to him since this was no different. Right?

He looked at me carefully, but I carefully constructed my face to hide the face of unbearable pain and looked straight ahead at the road.

I don't think he noticed. Or at least, I hope he didn't. "Did you know that Lauren thought Jasper was gay when she had her interview?"

Oh, thank God he didn't notice. Or he didn't let on that he did.

I smiled and laughed, saying I had no idea. Or something like that. I stopped paying attention to what we were talking about because right now, the pain of my unrequited love was nearly suffocating me. Dramatic, yes, but oh, so painfully true.

When he opened the door to my car at the restaurant, I all but leaped out of the car. I took deep breaths, trying to control my breathing and not hyperventilate. I had even told Rosalie this show would ruin my life, but no, she didn't listen to me.

The dress was doing nothing to help me and was cutting off all circulation. I had to lean against the car to catch my breath, but that only caught Edward's attention.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little motion sickness. I'll be okay in a sec."

Now he was looking at my heaving chest which really should have disgusted me because honestly, who checks out a girl when she can barely breathe? But really, it just turned me on and made me want to jump him in the parking lot. Once my breathing returned, that is.

I coughed once I had resumed normal breathing patterns and he looked at me sheepishly, and I could almost see the tips of his ears turning red from being caught ogling me.

"You sure you're okay," he asked quietly.

"I'm good, let's just go eat dinner and get the filming over with."

He looked a little disappointed that he couldn't offer his own form of CPR, but I pulled him along inside.

I prayed my epiphany from early this afternoon would only stay between Alice and me. I prayed for no word vomit and no poetic ramblings about my love for him. On camera. I felt physically ill at the thought.

It was only dinner. How hard could it be?

It was apparently a lot harder than I thought. We were sitting at the table, our chairs close together and our heads even closer together as we talked the dinner away. I had to shove every feeling that I had that day – fear, love, lust, lack of air, more fear, more love – aside because in the world of _I Want to Marry Edward Cullen! _there was no room for that.

"I don't know how you can say _Wuthering Heights_ was a good book," he was arguing. "They were foolish in their love and only ended up destroying each other."

"Who's love isn't foolish?" I responded. In tomorrow's newspapers, the word was going to be that heartthrob Edward Cullen was gay because he's read _Wuthering Heights_.

"Not to the point of self-destruction."

"Then you've never been in love before because it hurts just as much." We were getting to dangerous territory and I had to change the topic before that ever-haunting word vomit reared its ugly head. "And you like those cheesy sci-fi novels about UFOs."

"Better than your obsession with the vampire books." He skipped over my first statement about love, thank God. It seemed that I had prayed more tonight than I have in my whole life.

"Besides, real love would be just that – real. It wouldn't let silly, fanciful things get in the way. Only the two."

"Like I said, if that's what you think, you've clearly never been in love."

"And you have?"

Damnit! "Y-yes. I have." We had long since forgot about the camera. Now all I was focusing on was how his gaze would occasionally drop to the V of my dress to catch a glimpse of my cleavage and the lacy blue bra that he admitted to loving last week. Hence me wearing it all the fucking time.

"Then it wasn't real because believe me, I know what its like and yeah, sometimes it's reckless and crazy, but if its something they both feel, they won't let it destroy them."

"Are you telling me what I feel? Because I know it's real." I was fuming. I didn't notice that I had switched to present tense and was now talking about him. He most likely wouldn't notice either.

"So you're still in love with the prick that cheated on you?" Okay, he did notice.

"How do you know about that?" I didn't talk to him about that, did I? I don't think I did. It was hard to remember at this very minute as we were in a verbal war, but I think I would remember talking about that.

"All I know is that if someone did that to me, I wouldn't go around parading my feelings for him on TV!"

Now we were both mad. Yet another reason we could never be together: we would kill each other. I had pushed my chair away from him and was now a good two feet away, which was good because otherwise I would have stabbed him with my fork or the butter knife, whichever was closest.

"I wasn't talking about him!" I yelled. "I'm in love with you, you idiot. And believe _me_, it most definitely is self-destructing. Especially when you know the other person doesn't give a shit about you in return."

Word vomit. To the exponential degree. He just had to get me started. I was out of breath from my rant and let out my next sentence in a whisper of a breath of air. "I'm in love with you."

"Bella," he said, reaching out to where I had stood up after I actually reached for the butter knife and he had followed suit. "I don't know what to say except…"

I sat down. "I think if the natural response isn't there, then we should just leave it alone."

"Bella, please," he was pleading with me and it was breaking my heart. But I had given him mine after it had been all but trampled on by the last man I loved and I sure as hell wouldn't let Edward destroy me next.

I knew I would probably never love anyone to the degree that I loved the man before me, because honestly, who could? But I wasn't going to let him take all my pride and dignity with him in the rejection.

"Just take me home, Edward," I said quietly, putting my napkin on my plate and standing back up again. I walked to the exit and stood by the car waiting for him until he came outside. He looked worn and defeated, just how I felt.

The car ride was silent. I was mortified. I just told the man that I loved him on national television. What did I say about my pride? That I would keep it? I think that was shot to hell now. I'll be known as the Rejected Sweetheart in the Enquire after the show aired.

He just didn't talk. His knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly, and the classical music was just barely audible and he did nothing to change it.

I got out of the car as soon as he pulled up to the house, not even waiting for the car to be completely stopped. The door opened for me and I went inside, not bothering to look back at him. I don't know what I would have seen, but so far, this was nothing like a fairytale. He didn't come after me, declaring his undying love for me or sweeping me off my feet. I was no princess because he most certainly was Prince Charming, and there was never a chance for me to actually be with him.

I knew it the whole time and I still let myself fall. Stupid girl.

I climbed upstairs, a battle in and of itself. I was exhausted, even more so than earlier this evening. I had bared my soul and lifted this huge burden, but it had only come crashing back down on top of me. Alice took one look at my face, my perfectly erected mask, and knew without even asking. She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug, smoothing my hair and telling me it was going to be okay.

Somehow she pulled me to the bed and held me until I fell asleep.


	12. Couldn't Understand Why He Was Crying

A/N: If you're reading this, thanks for hanging with me the past few months...no excuses, just know I am deeply sorry. Now, angst!! :) PS go listen to War Tapes because they're amazing.

**EPOV**

Fuck my life. Only I would have the balls to continue with this show after what had happened last night. I had raced up the stairs after Bella, but strangely enough, she was not only faster than me, but she managed to not fall down. All in all, very strange. Furthermore, Jasper was standing outside her bedroom door, arms crossed across his chest and looking very…forlorn. And I'm sure his little elf was inside saying God knows what to my Bella.

Goddammit! It went from pure perfection and bliss to the shitter. All thanks to yours truly. Jasper had simply looked at me, giving me a glance that was a mix of sorrow and anger, before he shook his head and walked away. I moved to her door slowly, hearing Alice's soothing _shhhs_ and muffled breathing. If only I could just be there, the one holding her and smoothing her hair, maybe it would make this shitty night go away, erase, rewind, what-the-fuck-ever and we can go back to where it was her and I tangled in my sheets upstairs, laughing at stupid knock-knock jokes she heard because she still watches Blues freaking Clues when she is bored.

I splashed water on my face, trying to wake myself up. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and sighed; there had been little sleep to be had last night. It had eluded me, much like love, and it was pretty much all my doing.

I jumped and let out a not-so-masculine noise when I saw a reflection right next to mine when I opened my eyes. Freaking dwarf of a woman creeping in my room. Combine that with lack of sleep and you see where the not-so-masculine noise came from…

"What the fuck did you do to her last night?" I started to respond but she shook her head. "You know what, I don't even care. But you better fucking fix this otherwise I'm going to sic her quarterback of a brother on you and see how happy you are after that. And then, when he's done with you, I'll cut off your balls and feed them to you. You won't get much action after that."

"Moral of the story: fix this?" I asked hesitantly, cringing when I had mental images of that behemoth of a man from Bella's entry video mashing my face to a pulp.

She let out a sigh. "Sorry, yes. I get a little angry when someone hurts my best friend."

"Noted."

She came up closer to me, her hand resting softly on my arm. I looked down at her with a look of pure sadness etched into my features. "Oh, Edward," she breathed, running her hand up and down my arm. "You know she's just stubborn and insecure and completely way out of your league. She deserves someone to worship her and if you won't do that, then let her go, please.

"That's just it, Alice, I do worship her! She wouldn't let me tell her anything last night after she just said it in the middle of dinner. We were fighting and suddenly there it was. And I was going to tell her…"

"Tell her what, Edward? That you didn't love her? That maybe someday she could be enough for you? What would you have said?" She moved to sit on the toilet while I leaned on the counter, staring once again at my own face in the mirror, looking head on at the person who was single-handedly ruining the lives of multiple people.

Alice was right. What would I have said that would have been sufficient? What could I have said. The only logical thing would have been "I love you , too" but even that seems trite and cliché, and maybe not even true. Not that I didn't adore her, and breathe her like she was my own air, but love her? Like I want to grow old with you, head over heels, let's buy a house with a picket fence and baby makes three love?

"Because if you don't know for sure how you feel about her, then don't drag this on, especially not on public television. What happened last night was bad enough. Don't put her through more of your games."

I turned on her. "They aren't games, Alice! I'm only human. I make mistakes too, alright? Am I not allowed that?"

"Yes, you are human, and yes, you make mistakes. But don't destroy an innocent girl because of it."

She turned on her heel and left. "I'm leaving this house tonight, and by then, you better have a better idea of what the hell you will say to her or else I'm taking her with me. Lawsuit or not, you royally fucked this one up, and I won't sit around waiting for you to realize that Bella is a gem."

_______________

Jasper came into my room shortly after Alice left. He walked out onto the balcony to where I was standing look over the valley, seeing the very cusp of the outskirts of Los Angeles.

He stood next to me and handed me a bottle of water. "Want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No."

"So you messed up, man. It happens. I practically told Alice I loved her on our first date. But it all works out okay."

I didn't really feel like being reminded that my best friend was happily in love with Bella's best friend because that brought my thought pattern to Bella. Bella. Bella. Damn!

"Alice is really mad at me," I told him.

"I know. She told me. You did mess up. But Bella hasn't exactly been perfect, either. It takes two people to do this," he said calmly. "Listen, I know it sucks but you'll figure it out."

"I have to figure it out by tonight. Alice said she's taking Bella with her if I don't sort my shit out and talk to her."

Jasper looked at me with a confused look on his face. "But there's the lawsuit if she doesn't finish the show without being officially released from the contract, as in being kicked off the show. Bella works at a bar and bookshop. She can't afford us suing her for a million dollars."

"Then I'll pay it for her," I said, turning back to the landscape.

"Edward, you can't be serious." The astonishment was in his voice.

"If she wants to go, then who am I do deny her that? She didn't even want to do this in the first place, and I'm in no position to keep her here with me, as much as I may want to."

"But don't you see? You are in that position! She may not have submitted the video, but she sure as hell signed that contract."

"Jasper, I'm not going to change my mind," I said resolutely.

He sighed. "Are you at least going to try to talk to her? You still have a while before she'll leave with Alice."

"We'll see." What was there to say that could make her feel better? Like less of a fool for telling me "I love you" in front of six million viewers? Like I wasn't a total asshole of the world?

"Well," he said, hopefully changing the subject because I was sick of talking about how I made my life into a shithouse all my onesie. "The real reason I came up here is because today is your date afternoon with Lauren."

"Mallory?" I asked, not even trying to hide the disdain in my voice. Just fucking great. The last thing I wanted was to spend three hours with Lauren fucking Mallory talking to me about her nose job or highlights or whatever thoughts happen to pass through her empty, with exception to the bleach from her hair appointments, head.

"Yes. Maybe it will even distract you from the shithole you're in. What's the worst that could happen?"

I stop off and put a bullet in my head before we even leave the house? I didn't say this out loud but it sure as hell crossed my mind.

"Right," I said instead. "When do we leave?"

"Twenty minutes," he said, clapping me on the shoulder, and then leaving through the same door he entered through. "I'll call you when the car gets here," he yelled over his shoulder as he left my room.

Twenty minutes until I was in the seventh circle of hell. What would I do if I had twenty minutes left on earth? _Talk to Bella, numnuts. _That freaking voice in my head won't go away. But of course, as per usual, it was right.

I walked down my steps to her floor, then to her room, pushing the cracked door open a little bit more. She was sitting on the windowsill, looking at the same view I had just abandoned upstairs. Sensing my presence, she turned to me, her eyes looking, but not really seeing me.

I stepped into her room slowly, gauging her reaction but she seemed altogether unfazed by my being there.

"Bella," I began but she cut me off.

"No, Edward," she swung her feet off the seat and stood in front of me. I noticed dark circles under her eyes that matched my own, her hair hung loose around her face, uncombed and she just looked…exhausted, and the realization that I cause this hit me like an anvil on my chest.

"You don't have the right to come in here and tell me that you're sorry and that you feel awful. That's just to make yourself feel better and that's not how this works. You should have just told me that I was alone in this relationship. You should have told me that you were the playboy I pegged you for and that I was just a fling. You should have said something before last night. Instead of just standing there like you always do and making me out to be the bumbling idiot that I am."

I stared at her. She was right. I should have said something. "None of those are true, though. You aren't alone in this, and I'm not a playboy. I mean, I was. But I'm not anymore. I promise you. You did that. I want something more than just a fling with you and I'm sorry that I made you feel otherwise. That was never my intention. I never meant to hurt you."

"Well, guess what? You did. And I'm ashamed to say it because I should have seen it coming. Edward Cullen breaking my heart. Its nothing the world hasn't seen before. I'm just upset that I let myself fall for you. I know better."

She was interrupted by my phone ringing. Jasper. Time to go. Lauren. Well, shit.

I looked at her apologetically. "I have to go. Contestants, you know…" I trailed off because I didn't know what else to say. Confident, cocky Edward Cullen deemed speechless by a gorgeous klutz from Washington. What had the world come to?

"Yeah, don't want to keep them waiting," she spat curtly.

I nodded and turned. I knew my shoulders were hunched in defeat and I looked like hell. I don't know if she saw me because she had turned to the window when I moved out the door. I stopped outside her room when I heard her call my name.

"Alice is leaving tonight and I'm going with her." She turned back around to look at me and I locked my eyes on hers before I nodded again.

"I'm in no position to keep you here," I said softly, reiterating my statement from this morning.

"You're right. You're not. Not anymore," she responded brusquely before walking towards me and slamming her bedroom door in my face.

________________

"So I was like, um, Tanya, you totally should get the pink nail polish instead of the purple and she was all like, bitch, please. I know what color my nails should be. And then I realized that I like, couldn't be friends with such a fugly bitch. So by the end of eighth grade, I was in like, social exile, until I met Victoria, and she was totally awesome."

We were walking along a lakeshore somewhere outside of Los Angeles and I swear to God, this was my hell on earth. She had since moved from hair products to nail polish colors all the while telling me her history from kindergarten. We just passed the eighth grade. And let me tell you, from my own assessment, she's been a bitch since birth.

"Eddie, you're not listening to me." Her talons, I mean hands, gripped my arm to turn me to face her.

"Lauren, I can't listen to you. When I do, it feels like I want to stick pins in my ears to make the noise stop."

"Wouldn't that hurt?" she asked.

"Thus the basis of its appeal."

She laughed, actually no, cackled. "Oh, Eddie, you're so funny. You remind me of my first boyfriend in 5th grade! His name was Leo, but everyone called him Badge. I like, totally don't know why, but he was cute, I guess. We totally made out on the playground and then he went to go like, run around in the mud. Whatever."

I simply stared at her. How can she think I care about this? Or anyone does? Then I felt like an asshole.

She started talking again and I put my finger to her lips to stop her. I think she almost stuck out her tongue to lick me. Ew. "Look, Lauren, you're a nice person. And someday you're going to find a great guy who will really appreciate me. But that's not me. I'm sorry."

Her lip started to tremble. She sniffled once. "Does this mean you're kicking me off the show?"

"Not yet. You can't really be kicked off by me. The audience does that. But it was inevitable, you knew that."

Her eyes narrowed to slits that should have emanated anger, but just made her look like she was squinting, as if she couldn't see me clearly. "But that trampy Bella Swan can still hold your attention?"

"It's not like that. I promise you. You and I both know that this isn't going anywhere."

She sighed, nodding her head. "I guess I knew that. My boyfriend told me that, too, but I just really wanted to see."

"You have a boyfriend?" I asked, dumbfounded.

She laughed, "Yeah, back in Arizona. Mike. He was all for me doing this."

"I didn't know that."

"Well, you wouldn't, would you? You've only had eyes for Bella since she walked into your office that day? The day I said I moved my hair appointment?"

I remembered clearly. Bella had told me that day that she would tear out my jugular if I kept looking at her and that someday, all the fame would wear off and I'd end up washed up and alone. "I remember."

"I hope you guys will be happy together, you know, after this show is over?"

I looked at her. I had judged her all wrong. Sure, she said like a lot and really loved her makeup products, but maybe like everyone else in the world, she was trying to find her place.

"I hope so too, but I don't know."

Now she turned to look at me as I sat down on the shore on the edge of the lake. "Trouble in paradise?" she asked.

"I royally messed up."

"So fix it," she said simply with a shrug of her shoulders.

"It's not that easy."

"Sure it is," she said. "If you love her, and she loves you, then it'll work. If you belong together, it will happen. She obviously loves you enough to say it on TV, so that has to count for something."

I suddenly knew what I had to do. I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. She bore her soul to me on national television; it was only right that I returned the favor.

We (Lauren, myself and the camera crew) sat there for a long time after that, not talking. It was nice to have another female point of view without death threats. I was still stumped. What was I supposed to do?

Lauren and I went back to the house and she went to the kitchen to get food. I met Jasper in the foyer. "How was it?" he asked.

I shrugged noncommittally, "It was fine." I was itching to see Bella. The crew followed me to her room where I saw her packing her bag.

She glared when she saw me in her doorway for the second time that day. She zipped up her suitcase and put her backpack and duffel nearby.

"Bella, you told me that you loved me on TV and I was so stupid because I let you down. I let you just sit there and then leave me, and it's not something I care to do again. So I'm telling you this now, without agenda or hopes, but just so you know I love you."

I moved to her but she stepped away. Wasn't this what she wanted? A leveling of grounds, as it were?

She pursed her lips, trying not to cry. She moved to pick up her bags, pulling up the handle on her wheeled suitcase and slinging the backpack and duffel over her shoulder.

"Goodbye, Edward," she said, placing a soft kiss on my cheek as she walked by. At the door, she turned to me and shook her head. "You really don't understand, do you?"

She smiled sadly as I stared after her, standing in her room long after I heard her footsteps down the stairs and the front door slam, the taxi pull away from the front drive of the house, on its way back to the Los Angeles with the girl I loved safely tucked inside.


End file.
